"Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Reimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"
Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Are You Ready to Date Again?
Thinking about re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or loss? How can you tell if you're truly ready to get back out there? In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra provides five Relational Self-Awareness-informed indicators that you can use to help you discern whether you’re ready to date again.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Listen to Reimagining Love's "Guidance for the Newly Single" episode
Learn more about Relational Self-Awareness with Dr. Alexandra's books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Guidance for the Newly Single: 5 Strategies for Stability and Healing
Today’s solo episode is geared towards the “newly single,” whether you just got out of a brief situationship or a long-term, serious partnership. Dr. Alexandra breaks down what research tells us about why breakups are so challenging, and then delivers five practical strategies to help you feel more like you in this new era.
HOLIDAY SALE: This year, give the gift of Relational Self-Awareness — View Dr. Alexandra's Holiday Gift Guide and get 20% off all online offerings when you give them to a loved one. This discount is valid worldwide until 11:59 CT December 20th:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/giftguide2023
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
The Highs and Lows of Finding "Your Person": Bringing a Sense of Humor to Dating with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu
Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, hosts of the popular podcast Dateable, join Dr. Solomon for a fun, yet insightful, conversation about all things dating. Together, they explore our rapidly changing dating culture and tackle three sticky relationship situations.
Black Friday Sale — Use code FRIDAYLOVE for 20% off Dr. Solomon's e-courses. This discount is valid worldwide until November 28th:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Listen to the episode of Dateable where Dr. Solomon joined Julie and Yue to discuss pace discrepancies:
https://pod.link/1084105171/episode/c0b52d250484100116190980caf290d7
Listen to the Dateable podcast:
Listen to Exit Interview:
Order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
100th Episode: Answering Your Questions!
Today's show is the 100th episode of Reimagining Love! Dr. Solomon celebrates this milestone by answering several great listener questions: one from a woman in her 20s who is grappling with stability vs adventure in her love life; one about ambition differences between two partners; and one from a man desiring more affection from his partner. Take a listen to hear from Dr. Solomon on all of these great questions!
Order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Love, Acceptance, & Growth: The Insights We Glean from Couples Therapy with Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
Dr. Solomon is joined by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish for a rich discussion about both of their new books, as well as the growth potential for couples when they engage in therapy and Relational Self-awareness.
Order Dr. Tracy's new book, I Didn't Sign Up For This:
Order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day:
Dr. Tracy's podcast, I'm Not Your Shrink:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
My 9 Favorite Resentment-Busting Strategies
Resentment is one of the most common yet debilitating emotional states we can find ourselves stuck in. In this solo episode, Dr. Solomon normalizes the feeling of resentment and offers nine strategies that can help us get unstuck and begin to honor our own feelings and offer compassion to the people we love.
Order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day, available now:
Episode #24 of Reimagining Love, 10 Essential Skills for Navigating Conflict:
Part 1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000555568444
Part 2:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000556284436
Episode #33 of Reimagining Love, Disrupting the Overfunctioning/Underfunctioning Dynamic:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000565488608
Episode #50 of Reimagining Love, Tending to Little You and Exploring Your Family of Origin:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000584624154
Take the Family-of-Origin Roles Quiz:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Navigating Open Relationships: How to Create Agreements that Foster Security and Growth with Jessica Fern & David Cooley
[CW: this episode contains mentions of suicidal ideation.] Intentional boundaries and thoughtful agreements help us ensure that our intimate partnerships are vehicles for growth, mutual support, and healing, especially for individuals and couples who are looking to create relationship agreements beyond monogamy to deepen their understanding of relationship dynamics. Today Dr Solomon is joined by Jessica Fern and David Cooley. They are are life partners, coparents, and coauthors of the new book Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. In this rich and challenging episode, you will learn about loving with greater care and awareness, whether you are someone who practices monogamy or ethical nonmonogamy.
Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships by Jessica Fern and David Cooley:
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Help! My Kids Don't Want Me to Date!
Blending families is messy. There are no hard and fast rules. Today's solo episode is devoted to one listener question about dating and motherhood. The question's theme of intentionality, about modeling relationships with the kids and her healing journey is far from an isolated experience. There will be nuggets in this episode to savor and work with for separate conversations between the ex, the boyfriend, and the kids.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
The Extraordinary Importance of Sleep (P&T, December 2018) Susan Worley
Wendy M. Troxel, Ph.D., Theodore F. Robles, Ph.D., Martica Hall, Ph.D., and Daniel J. Buysse
The Bizarre Social History of Beds What We Did in Bed: A Horizontal History by Brian Fagan and Nadia Durrani
Is sleeping in separate beds bad for your relationship? A sleep scientist answers (TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series)
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
"If They Wanted To, They Would."
A phrase we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the dating world, and I’m sure you have as well is “If they wanted to, they would.” In today's episode, Dr. Alexandra will look at the kinds of fears and beliefs that lead people to stick the “if they wanted to they would” label on a relationship dynamic. You'll also lean into what might be happening in a dynamic that would lead you to declare “if they wanted to, they would” and what else you might do besides stick this label on and walk away.
Grab your copy of Dr. Alexandra's book, Love Every Day:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
I Love Them, But I'm Not In Love With Them (Re-release)
Has someone every said this phrase to you? Have you ever said it to someone else? In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Solomon explores why the statement "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is so complicated and what might actually be lying beneath these words in the context of an intimate relationship.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work (Re-release)
Working to improve your relationship is hard enough, and when your partner is resistant to the idea of reflecting together, it can feel like you're doomed. In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Solomon explores this common conundrum and shares reminders for the enthusiastic partner who is ready to dive into Relational Self-Awareness work, as well as for the partner who may be feeling more reluctant for a number of reasons.
A note: The podcast will be taking a break for the next two weeks and will return on August 22nd with another re-release episode!
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Finding Your People: Navigating Friendships in Adulthood with Lane Moore
Lane Moore, the Author of "You Will Find Your People," joins Dr. Solomon for a discussion about the joys and heartbreaks of friendship. Lane shares her impetus to write this thoughtful book, and the two discuss why some people might struggle more with friendship due to their upbringing or past experiences, and how they can create a community of people they love as adults.
You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships As an Adult by Lane Moore:
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Should You Be Friends with Your Ex?
When a relationship comes to a close, how do we decide for ourselves what kind of connection, if any, should remain between us and our former partner? In this episode, Dr. Solomon explores the topic of friendship with exes and shares some helpful musings and questions for anyone who is hoping to gain clarity about what might serve them and their former partner best in this new uncharted chapter.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this episode, Dr. Solomon tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Solomon's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
12 Strategies for Swiping with Relational Self-Awareness
In this episode, Dr. Alexandra offers 12 practical strategies for navigating dating apps with self-compassion and success. These strategies will help you tune into the emotions that are coming up inside you as you swipe so you can bring more Relational Self-Awareness to your dating journey.
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Why You're Frustrated with Dating Apps
Feeling burnt out and frustrated with dating apps? You're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra unpacks why so many people feel this way, offering explanation and validation for daters who are feeling stuck and disillusioned. Tune in next week to hear Dr. Alexandra's 12 Relational Self-Awareness strategies for using dating apps.
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Finding Yourself Again: The Truth About Codependency with Melody Beattie
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Melody Beattie, a legendary self-help author. A revised edition of Melody's 1986 book "Codependent No More" was recently published, and she and Dr. Alexandra discuss the topics it delves into and answer a listener question about losing oneself in relationships.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie:
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Identifying Patterns & Getting Curious: Dating Mindfully with Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein
Dr. Alexandra is joined by sisters and co-hosts of the "Oversharing" podcast, Jordana Abraham and Dr. Naomi Bernstein. They have a candid conversation about modern dating, gender scripts, and practical tools for how to stay centered and present on a date.
Oversharing Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oversharing/id1620971837
U up? Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u-up/id1313996383
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part Two)
If you are thinking about getting back together with an ex, there's a lot to consider. In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through 12 Relational Self-Awareness questions that will help them gain clarity about their situation and create version 2.0 of their relationship with confidence, if they make the choice to reconcile with their former partner. Find the link below to listen to Part I of this series if you missed it.
Get the companion worksheet for this episode:
www.dralexandrasolomon.com/secondchances
Part I of this series (previous week's episode):
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000607309489
Episode 67: Dealing with Breakup Regret:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000604088930
Episode 66: How to Get Closure After a Breakup:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000603123829
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz: