Communication and Conf..., Culture, Emotional Wellness, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage Communication and Conf..., Culture, Emotional Wellness, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage

Carrying the Mental Load: How Unequal Cognitive Labor Can Affect Your Relationship with Allison Daminger

Dr. Alexandra nerds-out with Dr. Allison Daminger about the division of work in couples, particularly in an often overlooked domain: the mental space. In her research, Daminger found that even when couples approximate parity around “time use”, there are still huge gaps in what she calls “mind use” or cognitive labor… even for modern couples who believe in what she calls the Myth of Mutuality, an equal partnership where both partners evenly share the load.

You will hear about the gendered disparities in cognitive labor in the home in a gentle, blame-free way. When it comes to gender roles in family life, we tend to overestimate the effects of individual differences and underestimate the effects of bigger social forces. So if the load is feeling unequal in your partnership, Daminger wants you to move away from guilt and blame and toward strategies that move you closer to your ideals. 

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

  • What constitutes cognitive labor and why women tend to carry the lion’s share.

  • Experiences from couples in Allison’s research who successfully created shared systems for cognitive labor, and the approaches and conditions that made that possible.

  • The narratives couples use to justify how they divide labor, especially when trying to avoid recreating gendered patterns (while often recreating them anyway).

  • How to spot cognitive labor disparities in your own home and use that awareness to divide responsibilities more fairly based on skill rather than “personality” (i.e., gendered expectations).

  • The pressure that broader societal structures place on individual households, and how reframing the issue can support calls for systemic change.

  • How to start small and make meaningful shifts toward parity in cognitive labor.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Communication and Conf..., Culture, Dating, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage Communication and Conf..., Culture, Dating, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage

Nobody Wants This: How to Love Across Potentially Dealbreaking Differences (Part 2) with My Husband, Todd

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? 

In this second part of their studio conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Todd talk about scorekeeping, with gender differences, attachment styles and general disposition/worldview in mind, best practices for the “winner” and “loser” in a change/sacrifice scenario, how to approach making sacrifices to stave off resentment…and then the REAL juicy stuff: does Todd hate that Dr. Alexandra is now a Swiftie like him? Plus, hear her hot take on shelving conversations for later.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Communication and Conf..., Culture, Dating, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage Communication and Conf..., Culture, Dating, Family, Intimate Relationships, Marriage

Nobody Wants This: How to Love Across Potentially Dealbreaking Differences (Part 1) with My Husband, Todd

Dr. Alexandra is in-studio with her husband, Todd, for this special two-part conversation about loving across potentially dealbreaking differences. Inspired by the Netflix show, Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody, Dr. Alexandra and Todd reflect on navigating a faith difference, with Dr. Alexandra ultimately converting to Judaism in preparation for their marriage. They discuss the larger question: how can a couple go about navigating ANY potentially dealbreaking difference? 

You’ll hear their reflections on Dr. Alexandra’s decision to convert to Judaism, as they discuss the implications of being the 'sacrificing partner' versus the one being 'sacrificed for’. You will also hear how attachment differences and family of origin dynamics impacted their relationship and what they’ve learned from it all over the years. 

You’ll come away from this episode with:

  • A deeper understanding of how interfaith dynamics can enrich or challenge relationships.

  • Insights into the importance of communication in overcoming differences.

  • Practical advice on navigating family of origin roles and attachment styles to enhance relationship intimacy.

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se... Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se...

What To Do When Your Partner Is Struggling (Part Two)

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.

In this second part, Dr. Alexandra is going to take you through five internal strategies to cope with the situation at hand – strategies that are about how you can tend to and take care of yourself. Then she will take you through nine relational strategies – strategies that will help you and your partner maintain or restore your relationship even as your partner struggles. 

You’ll come away with this conversation with:

  • A toolkit of five internal strategies to support your own emotional health while caring for your partner.

  • Nine actionable relational strategies to enhance communication and understanding in your relationship.

  • Insights on the significance of self-care for the non-struggling partner and how it contributes to relationship health.

  • Food-for-thought on resentment, grieving, high-functioning co-dependency, celebrating small victories, and rebuilding after a dark period (and so much more!)

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se... Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se...

What To Do When Your Partner Is Struggling (Part One)

In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.

In this first part, Dr. Alexandra is going to be contextualizing this scenario and providing lots of validation for the struggle that comes with having a struggling partner. She is also going to discuss factors that shape how your partner’s struggle impacts you. Hard things are just hard, but the ways you’re getting activated in the wake of your partner’s struggle also have a lot to do with your specific wounds, as well as the role you played in your family of origin. 

The insights shared in this episode lay the groundwork for a two-part series designed to equip you with effective coping strategies to maintain your well-being while fostering intimacy and connection, even in challenging times.

You’ll come away from this conversation with:

  • A deeper understanding of what Dr. Alexandra calls the Recursive Relational Framework (RRF)

  • Research examples that demonstrate that your partner’s struggles affect you and that how you respond can influence their outcome.

  • Strategies for recognizing and managing your emotional triggers in response to a partner's distress.

  • Practical tips for fostering personal growth while supporting a partner through their challenges. 

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Articles mentioned in the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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How Healing Your Inner Child Can Deepen Your Relationships with Christine Hassler

What if the key to deeper intimacy lies in understanding the echoes of our past? Dr. Alexandra Solomon sits with Christine Hassler, a Master coach, podcast host, and author, to discuss how our family of origin roles shape our present connections, emphasizing the importance of inner child work and relational self-awareness. Christine shares her journey through the unhealthy patterns that surfaced in her own relationship with her partner, Stef, offering a raw look at the necessity of self-reflection in cultivating healthier dynamics.

You'll come away from this episode with:

  • A deeper understanding of how family of origin influences shape your current relationships.

  • Practical strategies for engaging in inner child work to enhance self-awareness and relational dynamics.

  • Insights into the importance of self-advocacy (especially as women!) and authentic communication in intimate partnerships.

  • Perspective on how our professional roles and work offer yet another arena for us to notice and tend to old pain and create new ways of relating to ourselves and the world around us. 

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

  • Podcast - Life Coaching with Christine Hassler:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-coaching-with-christine-hassler/id1050321415

  • Christine Hassler’s The Women’s Retreat in San Diego, Oct 17-19, 2025:

https://christinehassler.com/womensretreat/

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Navigating Political Polarization: How to Connect Through Curious Conversations with Mónica Guzmán

There are a few things we likely can all agree on: (1) we are living in a very polarizing time, (2) it’s hurting us, and (3) the way that we talk about politics is broken, given that we are all living in different information orbits. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra sits down with Mónica Guzmán who offers us some hope for the relationships in our lives that have suffered as a result of this polarization. She also offers us the perspective we need to help us stay grounded, even as the structures all around us fiercely demand our attention and invite our reactivity.

The goal is not necessarily to seek to change each other’s view on the issues but to change our view on each other. And to see that “engagement is not endorsement", as we work to enter into curious dialogue with the people in our lives. This will perhaps allow us to notice the ways that we are not as divided as we believe we are.

You’ll come away with this conversation with:

  • Strategies on how to approach the conversations with the people in your life that have historically gone sideways due to ideological misalignments

  • Insights on maintaining curiosity and connection in the face of division

  • Tips for navigating the online dating landscape without compromising your values or limiting yourself

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:

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Revisit & Reflect: Dr. Thema Bryant on How to Heal Through Resting

We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload!) and lots of that information is about mental health, wellness, and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us. Whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation. This creates insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. 

Reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive. Originally released in September 2022, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Thema Bryant discuss the importance of resting and of tapping into the things that make you feel truly alive. They also recognize that the ways the system impacts our sense of identity may hinder us from experiencing ease in rest or leisure. They invite us to incorporate these essential self-care acts into our lives little by little.

Get out your favorite pen and journal to reflect on these perspectives:

  • Many of your struggles are influenced by systemic issues and are not as personal as you might think. Acknowledging this makes a lot of the negative voices in our heads that are related to our worth less of a mystery - often, they did not come from us.

  • Rest is a radical act of self-compassion and connection (and not selfish or lazy!), although many people find it very difficult to slow down for a variety of reasons, particularly those from historically excluded identities.

  • While slowing down can feel overwhelming because it brings up avoided emotions, integrating this practice gradually, and slowly noticing the information our emotions provide us, can allow us to tap into our truth.

Journaling Prompts:

  1. How ​do ​the ​macro ​issues ​of ​the ​world ​shape ​your ​sense ​of ​yourself ​in ​this ​moment ​today? ​What ​do ​the ​voices ​in ​your ​head ​tell ​you ​about ​your ​worth? Did ​that ​voice ​come ​from ​you? ​How ​might ​you ​show ​up ​differently ​if ​you ​rejected ​what ​the ​voices ​told ​you ​when ​they ​told ​you ​negative ​things ​about ​your ​worth? ​    

  2. What's ​your ​relationship ​with ​rest and ​stillness?  Is ​there ​some ​discomfort ​there? What, ​perhaps, ​keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​at ​ease ​while ​resting? What ​does ​it ​feel ​like ​in ​your ​body ​to ​be ​still, to ​do ​nothing, ​to ​not ​be ​productive? What ​does ​doing ​something ​just ​for ​the ​sake ​of ​doing ​it, ​not ​as ​a ​means ​to ​an ​end, but ​just ​to ​be ​in ​the ​moment - what ​does ​that ​feel ​like? ​What's ​coming ​up ​for ​you ​as ​we ​sit ​here ​together ​right ​now? ​

  3. What ​comes ​to ​mind ​when ​you ​are ​being ​invited ​to ​reconnect with ​​some ​neglected ​parts ​of ​yourself? ​     

  4. What ​are ​you ​doing when ​you ​feel ​the ​most ​alive? What's ​the ​setting? ​What's ​the ​context? ​What ​time ​of ​day ​is ​it? What ​are ​you ​up ​to? What ​are ​the ​constraints ​to ​entering ​that ​space ​that ​makes ​you ​feel ​most ​alive? ​What, ​perhaps, keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​entitled ​to ​make ​space for ​that which ​makes ​you ​come ​alive? ​ 

  5. What ​is ​a ​pledge ​that you ​can ​make ​to ​yourself ​this ​week ​to ​carve ​out ​even ​the ​tiniest ​bit ​more ​space ​for ​rest, for ​stillness, for ​doing ​that ​which ​makes ​you ​feel ​alive? And ​if ​and ​when ​you ​carve ​out ​a ​little ​tiny ​bit ​more ​space, ​can ​you ​just ​notice ​and ​land ​and ​savor how you ​feel when ​you ​enter that ​space ​of ​rest and ​stillness?

Resources worth mentioning from the episode:

  • Reimagining Love episode, Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryant

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/coming-home-to-ourselves-learning-to-thrive-with-dr-thema-bryant/

https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/coming-home-to-ourselves-learning-to-thrive-with-dr-thema-bryant/

  • Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant:

https://bookshop.org/p/books/homecoming-healing-trauma-to-reclaim-your-authentic-self-thema-bryant/20204100?ean=9780593418321&next=t

  • The Homecoming Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-homecoming-podcast-with-dr-thema/id1471604689

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-homecoming-podcast-with-dr-thema/id1471604689

  • Dr. Thema’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema

  • Tricia Hershey’s The Nap Ministry (Healing via the REST IS RESISTANCE framework):

https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/about/

https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/about/

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Mailbag Episode! Rebuilding After Infidelity

The fourth and final mailbag episode of the summer is here! Check out Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners with three relationship dilemmas related to infidelity and rebuilding trust, both relationally and within themselves.

Our first listener question concerns shame upon discovering an extramarital affair. Our second question deals with jealousy in the wake of some boundary-breaching behavior that is impacting the relationship.  And our third question is from an affair partner who is struggling with honesty and clarity within the affair from her married partner. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below.

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

Can I Trust You Again? E-Course: https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit

Reimagining Love Episode, When Shame Blocks Repair

Reimagining Love Episode, When You’re the Affair Partner 

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Dating with Intention and Optimism: How to Get What You Want Out of Love with Case Kenny

Dr. Alexandra sits down with Case Kenny – creator, mindfulness expert, host of the podcast New Mindset, Who Dis? and author of That’s Bold of You and The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark – to discuss how societal “shoulds” around dating and relationships can create rigid expectations and fear-based decisions. Instead, they invite us to lean into curiosity, optimism, and self-awareness to get what we want out of love and dating.

Together, they dive into:

  • Why the concept of “settling down” needs an upgrade—and what it means to “settle up” instead

  • How understanding your “why” of dating shifts your whole approach

  • Using the peak-end rule to reframe past dating experiences

  • How showing up enthusiastically and with trust as the default right from the start can amplify your dating and relationship experiences

And so much more!

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark by Case Kenny

Instagram @case.kenny

Learn more about Case Kenny: https://www.casekenny.com/

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

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Loving Across Difference: Navigating Identity and Family Relationships Between Cultures with Sahaj Kaur Kohli

First-generation children of immigrants often struggle with bicultural straddling, impacting their sense of identity, their mental health, their priorities and values, and their relationships. They can also find it difficult to be understood and loved by their parents in a way they can truly feel. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures to discuss how we can develop more capacity to love across differences and make shifts within ourselves to change our relationships for the better.

You will come away from this conversation with:

  • Validation for identity tensions you may carry as the child of immigrant parents (or more perspective on these identity tensions if you are not!)

  • Insight into balancing personal boundaries with cultural expectations, especially when dealing with clashing priorities - plus a fresh perspective on how to approach healing

  • Tips on finding the right therapist and how to ensure you’re receiving culturally-attuned care given the mental health field’s bias toward a Eurocentric and individualized approach 

  • Strategies for building healthier relationships - with yourself, your family, and romantic partners - while honoring your heritage

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love and Family Between Cultures by Sahaj Kaur Kohli

Brown Girl Therapy Instagram

Culturally Enough Substack

Learn more about Sahaj Kaur Kohli

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

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The Power of Parts Work: Embracing All of Ourselves with Britt Frank

When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame.  Today’s guest, Britt Frank, sits down with Dr. Alexandra to make a compelling case for why it is essential to use the power of parts work to embrace these aspects of ourselves so that we can make better sense of the full range of the human experience and show up more fully in our important relationships.  

You will come away from this episode with:

  • Inspiration to embrace all parts of yourself, good and “bad”

  • Know-how to A.L.I.G.N your mind, using this acronym to work with your parts

  • Greater “parts literacy” to navigate your relationships with more skill, understanding, and compassion

  • A new perspective on Attachment Styles in relation to our parts

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

Align Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work by Britt Frank

Learn more about Britt Frank at https://www.brittfrank.com/

Reimagining Love Episode, Finding The “Self”: Exploring Family Systems Therapy With Dr. Richard C. Schwartz

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

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Revisit & Reflect: Drs. John & Julie Gottman on Protecting Connection in Your Relationship

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. 

With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. 

You’ll come away from this episode with:

  • A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.

  • An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.

  • A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.

Journaling Prompts:

  1. What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?

  2. What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?

  3. In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.

  4. What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

Reimagining Love Episode, How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Mailbag Episode! Trouble in Paradise

Welcome to another summer mailbag episode, in which Dr. Alexandra digs into recent listener questions so that we can all grow, together. Two of the questions today follow a general shape of a question that comes across Dr. Alexandra’s desk quite often. Something like: “Everything’s perfect in my relationship…BUT….” There’s some challenge, incompatibility, or roadblock that feels outside of our control—or, something within *US* that’s holding us back from taking things to the next level, even though everything feels so right—and we can’t get unstuck. Dr. Alexandra speaks to two listeners in this spot, as well as answering a unique question from a listener who is wanting to reclaim a special place for herself and her daughter, a place that holds both “pain and potential,” in her words, in the wake of the end of her marriage. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s tips on how she can reclaim her paradise.

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

Take the Family of Origin Roles QUIZ 

Previous summer mailbag episodes: Mailbag 1, Mailbag 2

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

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Revisit & Reflect: Esther Perel on Reigniting The Spark in Your Relationship

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, starting with today’s conversation from the archive with the inimitable relationship expert Esther Perel. They explore relational ambivalence and how to reignite the spark inside your relationship, and within yourself, inspired by a listener’s question. So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. 

You’ll come away from this episode with:

  • A deeper understanding of the importance of rituals in maintaining connection amidst life's challenges

  • A new perspective on the impact of external circumstances on anxiety in your relationships.

  • The ability to recognize and respond to your partner's bids for connection.

  • A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.

Journaling Prompts:

  1. How do the macro issues of the world shape your love life today? To what degree are you able to give yourself permission for play and pleasure, even as the world feels so hard? What allows you to do that?

  2. In the clip, Esther reminds us that if you don’t know how to turn yourself on, there’s nothing your partner can do to turn you on. How are you finding ways to connect to your own aliveness? What are some things you can do this week, just for you, that could reinvigorate your internal spark? This could include engaging with nature, art, food, movement, or play.

  3. In this clip, Esther and Dr. Alexandra talk about how for a couple to create an experience together, one partner is the initiator and one is the responder. These roles aren’t fixed, but which role do you do you tend to find yourself in more? What do you like about being in each position, and what’s hard about each of them?

“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh

Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

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Mailbag Episode! Blended Families, LDRs, Talking About the Future

The second mailbag episode of the summer is here! Hear Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners from around the world, with three relationship dilemmas: the first is a fellow “Alexandra” who lives in England and is struggling with her blended family. Next, we hear from a listener in Hawaii who is trying to make a difficult decision about their relationship. Finally, Dr. Alexandra answers a question from a listener in the UK who is ready to have a baby…but her boyfriend is not. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below.

"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Romance, Self-Compassion and Se..., Therapy Communication and Conf..., Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Relational Self-Awareness, Romance, Self-Compassion and Se..., Therapy

Mailbag Episode! Part One

Throughout the summer, Dr. Alexandra will be answering listener questions through Mailbag Episodes. Today’s questions include a query from a listener in Los Angeles who is struggling with her feelings about a choice the guy she’s seeing has made, and isn’t sure how to proceed after a tricky conversation. Next, you’ll hear from Marina in London, who wants some extra support in the aftermath of infidelity. She’s curious about post-traumatic growth and what might be possible for her. Dr. Alexandra wraps things up with a question from a listener in New York, whose boyfriend of over a decade is ambivalent about the relationship and blowing hot and cold. Should she cut loose or stick it out until he makes up his mind? Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s takes on all of these relationship situations.

If you want to submit your own question, click the link below. You may just get yours answered on an upcoming mailbag episode this summer!

"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

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Communication and Conf..., Family, Self-Compassion and Se... Communication and Conf..., Family, Self-Compassion and Se...

“My Family is a Mess. Will The Dynamic Ever Change?”

When there’s a struggling person in a family, the system often coalesces around that individual, and while we might imagine these patterns get left behind when kids grow into adults, the dynamic often endures for the long run. Reimagining Love listener Cristina wrote in to Dr. Alexandra from Chicago, asking about how to better handle the challenges of such a situation. She’s the only one in her family who is in therapy, and she is eager to disrupt the dynamic. Cristina wants to stay connected to her sisters, despite the challenges they’ve faced, and her hope is to break longstanding patterns of over-accommodation and resentment while honoring her own needs as well as other family members’. Dr. Alexandra dives into this question with the goal of exploring an empowering therapeutic truth: that when you change your own dance moves, you can transform the entire system. If you’re dealing with something similar, this episode is going to offer you ways forward you may not have experimented yet, that could have the potential to change everything. If you’d like to submit a listener question of your own, you can do so by following the link below.

"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

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Communication and Conf..., Dating, Intimate Relationships, Marriage Communication and Conf..., Dating, Intimate Relationships, Marriage

Should You Share Your Location With Your Partner?

n the age of modern technology, we have more information about each other than ever before. Sharing locations with our loved ones can make life more convenient, and while at first glance it may seem like a small decision, the choice to share or not to share actually encapsulates so many of the values and tensions that couples face—questions of closeness and privacy, trust and betrayal, safety and mystery. And if you’ve ever had tense conversations around sharing your location using apps like Find My Friends, Life360, or Snap Maps, Dr. Alexandra is going to help you understand why this topic carries more weight than we might realize, and how to navigate through it and make decisions about location-sharing with your partner.

"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

Technology Safety & Privacy: A Toolkit for Survivors: Safety Net Project

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Communication and Conf..., Culture, Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Marriage, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se... Communication and Conf..., Culture, Emotional Wellness, Intimate Relationships, Marriage, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se...

Can You Have an Amazing Career AND an Amazing Relationship?

Few topics are more relevant to our day-to-day lives than work. For many of us, our jobs are more than just occupations—they’re where we achieve goals, make meaning, experience successes and failures, and cultivate our self-esteem. So, when work and love collide, we find ourselves at a rich intersection of emotions, expectations, and needs. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra uncovers why fighting with your partner about work is never just that, and shares tools you can use to cultivate intimacy and ambition simultaneously. You’ll learn about what Dr. Alexandra calls “the Work-Love Matrix,” understand the connections between your experience in the workplace and your experience growing up in your Family-of-Origin, and hear a five-step practice you can use today to have more supportive conversations about work with your partner.

Relevant links:

Further Listening: Is Work Stress Taking a Toll on Your Relationship? (Reimagining Love)

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