Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship (Re-Release)
Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Alexandra tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.
Relevant links:
Access the Long-Distance Relationships Worksheet Here
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz
Join Dr. Alexandra's five-day retreat with the Modern Elder Academy - Get 10% off with code 'GF10'
Money & Marriage: When One Likes to Spend and One Likes to Save with Dr. Scott Rick
What happens in a marriage when one partner likes to save money and one likes to spend it? According to Dr. Scott Rick’s research, when it comes to money, opposites do attract. Dr. Rick joins Dr. Alexandra to explain how our psychology shapes how we handle money and how the choices we make around money impact our relationships.
Relevant links:
Tightwads and Spendthrifts: Navigating the Money Minefield in Real Relationships by Dr. Scott Rick
Engage with Dr. Rick’s research and connect with him on Instagram and Twitter
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
End or Mend: Managing Difficult Family Relationships with Nedra Tawwab
[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode]
Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.
Relevant links:
Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab
The Drama Free Workbook: Practical Exercises for Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Listen to Nedra's podcast, You Need to Hear This
Connect with Nedra online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
"I Need Connection & My Partner Needs Space. Now What?"
In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra examines a central tension in all relationships: the need for space versus togetherness. If you often find yourself wanting more connection, are you needy? If you typically need more space, are you avoidant? Here, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to ditch the labels and pathology, and instead acknowledge that both space and connection are fundamental needs in an intimate relationship. To help you navigate this, Dr. Alexandra shines a light on the meaning we assign to our orientations around space and shares strategies to help you and your partner create agreements that maximize connection and minimize resentment.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel
Reimagining Love Episode: "Let's Talk About 'Sleep Divorces'"
Hermeneutic Labor: The Gendered Burden of Interpretation in Intimate Relationships between Women and Men by Ellie Anderson
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
The Other Significant Others: How to Reimagine Your Friendships with Rhaina Cohen
What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life.
Relevant links:
The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen
Listen to "Dear Friend," the song inspired by Rhaina's book
"Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality" from the Journal of Marriage and Family
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Liberated Love: From Codependency to Relational Safety with Mark Groves & Kylie McBeath
Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.
Relevant links:
Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath
After purchasing Liberated Love, access the PDF Workbook and free Meditation
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
When You're the Affair Partner
Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.
Relevant links:
"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Facebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion Group
Reimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single"
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
When Shame Blocks Repair
In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame
Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Conscious Uncoupling: Divorce as an Ending, Not a Failure with Katherine Woodward Thomas
Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.
Relevant links:
Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Revised) by Katherine Woodward Thomas
Connect with Katherine online and on Instagram
Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz
The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons
Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane Vaughan
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
From Burnout to Balanced: Bringing Self-Compassion to Our Careers with Esther Boykin
Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.
Relevant links:
Connect with Esther online and on Instagram
Learn more about Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word and the Compassion Collective
Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamworkby Dan Sullivan
Reimagining Love episode: "Talking about the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy"
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Secure Attachments: The Felt Sense of Love with Julie Menanno
What does it feel like to be in a securely attached relationship? Renowned relationship expert and therapist Julie Menanno joins Reimagining Love to illuminate what we can learn from examining secure attachments. Together with Dr. Alexandra, Julie help anxious and avoidant partners understand each other by guiding us through how different attachment styles show up in tender moments. Ultimately, Julie reminds us that the purpose of attachment work is to help us heal from our past unmet needs so that we can form secure attachments today.
Relevant links:
Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie Menanno
Connect with Julie online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
"Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Reimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"
Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Trauma Bonds: Healing from Unhealthy Relationship Dynamics with Dr. Laura Copley
What are trauma bonds and how can we heal from them? Dr. Laura Copley joins the podcast to dive into the sticky dynamics of unhealthy, trauma-bonded relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and her work as a relationship trauma expert, Dr. Laura gives us insight into what she calls "the hero's journey" — a transformative path towards recognizing our origin stories, attachment wounds, and current relationship dynamics so that we can transcend our trauma and form authentic connections.
Relevant links:
Loving You Is Hurting Me: A New Approach to Healing Trauma Bonds and Creating Authentic Connection by Dr. Laura Copley
Learn more about Dr. Laura's work online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Love By Design: Why Couples Succeed with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh returns to Reimagining Love to share her research on the six ingredients that help love bloom into a thriving relationship. In this conversation, Dr. Sara encourages us to move beyond our culture's myth of finding a perfect mate and instead, focus on creating something special together.
Relevant links:
Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Use code "Reimagine" for 10% off Dr. Sara's Relationship Panoramic Inventory (Valid until 2/29/24)
Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Are You Ready to Date Again?
Thinking about re-entering the dating scene after a breakup or loss? How can you tell if you're truly ready to get back out there? In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra provides five Relational Self-Awareness-informed indicators that you can use to help you discern whether you’re ready to date again.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Listen to Reimagining Love's "Guidance for the Newly Single" episode
Learn more about Relational Self-Awareness with Dr. Alexandra's books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
What Role Did You Play in Your Family of Origin?
In this in-depth solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explains the six common roles we played in our original family systems. Way before we ever were involved in a romantic relationship, we were part of a family system, and that system, for better or for worse, shaped our ideas about who we can and cannot be. Through understanding our past, we can see how these roles continue to show up in our relationships today and use that knowledge as a powerful Relational Self-Awareness tool.
Relevant links:
Take the Family of Origin Roles Quiz
Reimagining Love: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"
Dr. Alexandra's Psychotherapy Networker Article
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Come Together: Cultivating Sexual Connection in Long-term Relationships with Dr. Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski joins Reimagining Love for a vulnerable and expansive conversation about nurturing lasting sexual connections in long-term partnerships. As an award-winning sex educator and author, Emily combines groundbreaking research, sex education, and stress education to expand our ideas about women's sexuality. In her new book, Come Together, Emily explores how long-term couples maintain sexual connection over time. Together, Emily and Dr. Alexandra uncover the importance of moving away from the "shoulds" in our sex lives and towards discovering more confidence and joy with our partners.
Relevant links:
Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily Nagoski
Dates for Emily's upcoming book tour
Learn more about Emily's work online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
The D Word: An Empowering Approach to Divorce with Kate Anthony
Renowned divorce coach Kate Anthony sits down with Dr. Alexandra to offer us an empowering approach to divorce that centers accountability and integrity. Sharing wisdom from her own divorce, Kate guides Dr. Alexandra through the experience, from exploring what is embedded within the question ‘should I stay or should I go?’ to all the tricky things that emerge in the aftermath of a separation: parenting decisions, the gender dynamics of divorce, and the heaps of unsolicited advice that’s coming your way.
Relevant links:
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision about Your Marriage by Kate Anthony
Listen to The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Explore Kate's program Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Intergenerational Healing: A Holistic Approach to Breaking Cycles with Dr. Mariel Buqué
Dr. Mariel Buqué joins Reimagining Love to discuss her debut book, Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma. As an expert in intergenerational trauma, Dr. Buqué offers wisdom on what gets passed down within families: not only inheritances of pain and trauma but also precious stories and gifts. Dr. Buqué shares her journey of infusing traditional clinical frameworks with holistic healing practices, paving a path through intergenerational wounds and toward emotional liberation.
Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma by Dr. Mariel Buqué:
Learn more about Dr. Buqué's work:
https://www.drmarielbuque.com/
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Reflect With Me: Checking In With Ourselves and Our Relationships in the New Year
In this special mini-solo episode, Dr. Alexandra invites you to join her as she reflects on 2023 and moves into the new year with intentionality. Sharing her perspective on resolutions, Dr. Alexandra encourages listeners to navigate this time with self-compassion and gentleness. Then, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through two exercises designed to reflect on the lessons and challenges of the past year and find optimism for this upcoming year.
To find this episode's accompanying worksheet, visit:
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra: