Navigating Open Relationships: How to Create Agreements that Foster Security and Growth with Jessica Fern & David Cooley
[CW: this episode contains mentions of suicidal ideation.] Intentional boundaries and thoughtful agreements help us ensure that our intimate partnerships are vehicles for growth, mutual support, and healing, especially for individuals and couples who are looking to create relationship agreements beyond monogamy to deepen their understanding of relationship dynamics. Today Dr Solomon is joined by Jessica Fern and David Cooley. They are are life partners, coparents, and coauthors of the new book Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships. In this rich and challenging episode, you will learn about loving with greater care and awareness, whether you are someone who practices monogamy or ethical nonmonogamy.
Polywise: A Deeper Dive Into Navigating Open Relationships by Jessica Fern and David Cooley:
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Help! My Kids Don't Want Me to Date!
Blending families is messy. There are no hard and fast rules. Today's solo episode is devoted to one listener question about dating and motherhood. The question's theme of intentionality, about modeling relationships with the kids and her healing journey is far from an isolated experience. There will be nuggets in this episode to savor and work with for separate conversations between the ex, the boyfriend, and the kids.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's new book, Love Every Day, and register to receive free gifts after you order:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
The Extraordinary Importance of Sleep (P&T, December 2018) Susan Worley
Wendy M. Troxel, Ph.D., Theodore F. Robles, Ph.D., Martica Hall, Ph.D., and Daniel J. Buysse
The Bizarre Social History of Beds What We Did in Bed: A Horizontal History by Brian Fagan and Nadia Durrani
Is sleeping in separate beds bad for your relationship? A sleep scientist answers (TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series)
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"If They Wanted To, They Would."
A phrase we've been hearing a lot lately, especially in the dating world, and I’m sure you have as well is “If they wanted to, they would.” In today's episode, Dr. Alexandra will look at the kinds of fears and beliefs that lead people to stick the “if they wanted to they would” label on a relationship dynamic. You'll also lean into what might be happening in a dynamic that would lead you to declare “if they wanted to, they would” and what else you might do besides stick this label on and walk away.
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https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook/
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Navigating Life Transitions As a Couple: A Conversation With My Husband, Todd
Life transitions are inevitable. For couples and families, these chapters offer unique challenges and opportunities. This fall, Dr. Solomon and her husband, Todd, are experiencing a major change of their own, as they launch their youngest off to college and become "empty-nesters." They sat down together in the studio for a candid conversation about what this time is bringing up for them and how they plan to process and celebrate the beginning of this new chapter together.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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I Love Them, But I'm Not In Love With Them (Re-release)
Has someone every said this phrase to you? Have you ever said it to someone else? In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Solomon explores why the statement "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" is so complicated and what might actually be lying beneath these words in the context of an intimate relationship.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Inviting a Reluctant Partner into Relationship Work (Re-release)
Working to improve your relationship is hard enough, and when your partner is resistant to the idea of reflecting together, it can feel like you're doomed. In this re-release of a foundational episode, Dr. Solomon explores this common conundrum and shares reminders for the enthusiastic partner who is ready to dive into Relational Self-Awareness work, as well as for the partner who may be feeling more reluctant for a number of reasons.
A note: The podcast will be taking a break for the next two weeks and will return on August 22nd with another re-release episode!
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Finding Your People: Navigating Friendships in Adulthood with Lane Moore
Lane Moore, the Author of "You Will Find Your People," joins Dr. Solomon for a discussion about the joys and heartbreaks of friendship. Lane shares her impetus to write this thoughtful book, and the two discuss why some people might struggle more with friendship due to their upbringing or past experiences, and how they can create a community of people they love as adults.
You Will Find Your People: How to Make Meaningful Friendships As an Adult by Lane Moore:
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Should You Be Friends with Your Ex?
When a relationship comes to a close, how do we decide for ourselves what kind of connection, if any, should remain between us and our former partner? In this episode, Dr. Solomon explores the topic of friendship with exes and shares some helpful musings and questions for anyone who is hoping to gain clarity about what might serve them and their former partner best in this new uncharted chapter.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Strategies for a Thriving Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance relationships are no walk in the park, but that doesn't mean they can't thrive. In this episode, Dr. Solomon tackles this topic, sharing tools and tips for couples. If you and your partner live in different time zones, are pros at FaceTime dates, and are constantly asking, "when's our next visit?", this episode is for you.
Pre-order Dr. Solomon's brand-new book, Love Every Day: 365 Relational Self-Awareness Practices To Help Your Relationship Heal, Grow, and Thrive:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/loveeverydaybook
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
Register for Dr. Solomon's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Tools for Progress & Peace with Alicia Muñoz
Cycles of rumination and overthinking can be hard to break free from, and they can negatively impact us and our relationships. In this episode, therapist Alicia Muñoz joins Dr. Alexandra to address this common thought pattern and shares tools for how to slow down and release ourselves from this headspace.
Stop Overthinking Your Relationship: Break the Cycle of Anxious Rumination to Nurture Love, Trust, and Connection with Your Partner by Alicia Muñoz:
Alicia's website:
Get the brand new REIMAGINING LOVE WORKBOOK:
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Cultivating Contemplation: How Wonder Helps us Heal with Cole Arthur Riley
Dr. Alexandra is joined by the visionary writer and poet Cole Arthur Riley on this episode. They discuss Cole's book, "This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us," and explore topics of wonder, contemplation, disability, childhood, and much more.
This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories That Make Us by Cole Arthur Riley:
Black Liturgies, a project that integrates spiritual practice with Black emotion, Black literature, and the Black body:
https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/
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Modern Family Values: How to Be the Parents We Want to Be in a Busy World with Dr. Yael Schonbrun
Dr. Alexandra is joined by psychologist and author Dr. Yael Schonbrun for a hopeful and inspiring conversation about working parenthood. They discuss the challenges of balancing family and work life as well as strategies to help busy parents structure their lives in a way that works for their family and aligns with their values.
Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection by Dr. Yael Schonbrun:
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Getting Real About Pleasure: Reclaiming Desire with Dr. Laurie Mintz
Dr. Laurie Mintz joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about all things pleasure, from the orgasm gap to sexual myths to vibrators, offering inspiration and encouragement to both individuals and couples as they seek to reignite and reconnect with their desire and sexual identity.
Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It by Dr. Laurie Mintz:
A Tired Woman's Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship by Dr. Laurie Mintz:
She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Dr. Ian Kerner:
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12 Strategies for Swiping with Relational Self-Awareness
In this episode, Dr. Alexandra offers 12 practical strategies for navigating dating apps with self-compassion and success. These strategies will help you tune into the emotions that are coming up inside you as you swipe so you can bring more Relational Self-Awareness to your dating journey.
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Why You're Frustrated with Dating Apps
Feeling burnt out and frustrated with dating apps? You're not alone. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra unpacks why so many people feel this way, offering explanation and validation for daters who are feeling stuck and disillusioned. Tune in next week to hear Dr. Alexandra's 12 Relational Self-Awareness strategies for using dating apps.
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Finding Yourself Again: The Truth About Codependency with Melody Beattie
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Melody Beattie, a legendary self-help author. A revised edition of Melody's 1986 book "Codependent No More" was recently published, and she and Dr. Alexandra discuss the topics it delves into and answer a listener question about losing oneself in relationships.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie:
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Identifying Patterns & Getting Curious: Dating Mindfully with Jordana Abraham & Dr. Naomi Bernstein
Dr. Alexandra is joined by sisters and co-hosts of the "Oversharing" podcast, Jordana Abraham and Dr. Naomi Bernstein. They have a candid conversation about modern dating, gender scripts, and practical tools for how to stay centered and present on a date.
Oversharing Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oversharing/id1620971837
U up? Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/u-up/id1313996383
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
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"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part Two)
If you are thinking about getting back together with an ex, there's a lot to consider. In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through 12 Relational Self-Awareness questions that will help them gain clarity about their situation and create version 2.0 of their relationship with confidence, if they make the choice to reconcile with their former partner. Find the link below to listen to Part I of this series if you missed it.
Get the companion worksheet for this episode:
www.dralexandrasolomon.com/secondchances
Part I of this series (previous week's episode):
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000607309489
Episode 67: Dealing with Breakup Regret:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000604088930
Episode 66: How to Get Closure After a Breakup:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000603123829
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
"I'm Thinking About Getting Back Together With My Ex." (Part One)
If you are thinking about getting back together with an ex, there's a lot to consider. In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra guides listeners through 12 Relational Self-Awareness questions that will help them gain clarity about their situation and create version 2.0 of their relationship with confidence, if they make the choice to reconcile with their former partner. In next week's episode, Dr. Alexandra will share an accompanying worksheet for this series.
Episode 67: Dealing with Breakup Regret:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000604088930
Episode 66: How to Get Closure After a Breakup:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000603123829
Register for Dr. Alexandra's E-Courses:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/
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Take Dr. Alexandra's "Relationship Superpower" Quiz:
Gender, Family, & the Home: Why "Fair Play" Helps Our Relationships Thrive with Eve Rodsky
Guest Eve Rodsky is the author of the bestselling book "Fair Play," a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra and Eve discuss the problem of invisible domestic labor, especially for women and mothers, and explore how we can reimagine family life to create a more equitable and healthy future for all.
Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky:
Fair Play Card Deck:
https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards
Fair Play Documentary:
https://www.fairplaylife.com/documentary
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