Prioritizing Your Pleasure: How to Rediscover Your Spark with Shan Boodram
In this episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined by Shan Boodram, a sexuality educator and certified sexologist, known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, and Ex-Rated on Peacock, which she co-hosted with Andy Cohen, as well as her MasterClass, “The Art of Seduction,” which leads folks through the fundamentals of flirting, intimacy, and how to foster deep physical and emotional connections. Shan’s approach to sex education is welcoming and approachable, and she has a reverence for this topic that is oh-so central to our humanity and aliveness. From re-defining the way we draw wisdom from the ancient Kama Sutra text, to even designing jewelry that encourages folks to reclaim their pleasure in the bedroom, Shan & this conversation will inspire you to see your and your partner’s sexuality with fresh eyes. And if you’re looking for practical advice on the art of seduction, you’ll get that in this episode, too (enter Shan’s iconic “sexy eye triangle” tip). There’s so much to glean from this episode, whether you’re looking to spice things up with your partner in the bedroom, move past sexual shame, or just see sex in a new way.
You’ll come away from this episode with:
- A refreshed perspective on the “intimate self” and a reminder of how central our sexuality is to our humanity
- Practical tips for how to use flirting and seduction to connect with others, and even more importantly, with yourself
- New ideas for how to bring novelty, improved communication, and playfulness into the bedroom
“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh
Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra
“The Art of Seduction on MasterClass: masterclass.com/shan
Käma, Shan's jewelry collaboration with Surmeyi
Shan’s website
LOVERS by shan, Shan’s podcast
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From Disconnected to Passionate: How to Get Out of a Sexual Rut with Dr. Kate Balestrieri
Conversations about sex are so important, but approaching the topic with a partner can feel overwhelming. When we come up against sexual challenges in our relationships, it can be easy to fall into patterns of blame and shame. Listening to this episode is a great first step as you find your voice and reclaim your power in your sex life. You’ll hear from psychologist and sex therapist Dr. Kate Balestrieri, who joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about sexuality and her new book, What Happened to My Sex Life? They explore the importance of creating shared agreements and visions with your partner when it comes to sex, how to navigate retroactive jealousy, and the role safety plays in our sexual connections. They also respond to a listener question about how someone’s sexual history can impact their current relationship dynamic.
Relevant links:
Dr. Kate’s book: What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection, and Pleasure
Dr. Kate’s Instagram: @drkatebalestrieri
Dr. Kate’s website: Modern Intimacy
Get Naked with Dr. Kate (podcast)
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Bedroom Conversations: Why Great Sex Starts With Great Communication with Vanessa & Xander Marin
On today’s episode of Reimagining Love, Vanessa & Xander Marin join Dr. Alexandra for a frank and compassionate conversation about sex—specifically, sex in long-term relationships. It’s normal for couples to fall into a rut in the bedroom, ranging from sex feeling kind of “meh,” to long periods without any intimacy at all. These ebbs and flows are part of being in a long-term relationship or marriage, and the good news is, there are actions you can take to chart a new course with your partner and to get excited about each other again. Vanessa and Xander are a couple who have been creating that very roadmap for folks, through their amazing online courses, their podcast, Pillow Talks, and their New York Times-bestselling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life. Vanessa is a sex therapist with 20 years of experience who has been featured in outlets like O, The Oprah Magazine, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, and Goop, and she has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker. And Xander? Well, he is a “regular dude” who left his corporate job to join Vanessa in this work. Together they blend clinical wisdom, humor, openness, and their own personal stories to normalize talking about our sex lives and to offer techniques for improving yours. You are going to hear about their personal experience with couple therapy and how they landed on the agreement, “If it matters to one of us, it matters to both of us.” They share so many juicy insights about sex, from desire discrepancy to initiation to their amazing acronym “P.L.E.A.S.E.,” which you’ll learn in this conversation. This episode will give you the confidence to shift the way you and your partner talk about sex and couple therapy, as well as anything else you might be stuck on.
Relevant Links:
Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life by Vanessa & Xander Marin
Vanessa & Xander’s website: https://vmtherapy.com/https://vmtherapy.com/
Vanessa & Xander’s courses & challenges: https://vmtherapy.com/holiday-gift-guide-2024
Vanessa & Xander’s podcast, Pillow Talks: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
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Give the gift of Relational Self-Awareness! All of Dr. Alexandra's online offerings are 20% off until December 20th, 2024! They include the hallmark course "Intimate Relationships 101" and the Reimagining Love Workbook as a beautiful companion to this podcast. Visit https://dralexandrasolomon.com/giftguide2024/ to explore Relational Self-Awareness as you and your loved ones move into the new year.
Come Together: Cultivating Sexual Connection in Long-term Relationships with Dr. Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski joins Reimagining Love for a vulnerable and expansive conversation about nurturing lasting sexual connections in long-term partnerships. As an award-winning sex educator and author, Emily combines groundbreaking research, sex education, and stress education to expand our ideas about women's sexuality. In her new book, Come Together, Emily explores how long-term couples maintain sexual connection over time. Together, Emily and Dr. Alexandra uncover the importance of moving away from the "shoulds" in our sex lives and towards discovering more confidence and joy with our partners.
Relevant links:
Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections by Emily Nagoski
Dates for Emily's upcoming book tour
Learn more about Emily's work online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
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The Power of Play: Embodying Sex Positivity with Nicoletta Heidegger
Therapist and sexologist Nicoletta Heidegger joins Reimagining Love for an expansive conversation about all things sexuality. Nicoletta's approach shows the power of sex-positivity — encouraging curiosity about how everyone can learn to have better sex and, in doing so, build deeper connections to our senses, our relationships, and ourselves.
Learn more about Nicoletta's work:
https://www.nicolettavheidegger.com/
Nicoletta's Sex and Scholars Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/sluts-and-scholars/id1223781930
Tickets for Afternoon Delight: A Live Podcast Experience on Feb. 10th, 2024:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/afternoon-delight-a-live-podcast-experience-tickets-767718646137
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra: