Mailbag Episode! Rebuilding After Infidelity
The fourth and final mailbag episode of the summer is here! Check out Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners with three relationship dilemmas related to infidelity and rebuilding trust, both relationally and within themselves.
Our first listener question concerns shame upon discovering an extramarital affair. Our second question deals with jealousy in the wake of some boundary-breaching behavior that is impacting the relationship. And our third question is from an affair partner who is struggling with honesty and clarity within the affair from her married partner. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below.
“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh
Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra
Can I Trust You Again? E-Course: https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit
Reimagining Love Episode, When Shame Blocks Repair
Reimagining Love Episode, When You’re the Affair Partner
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Mailbag Episode! Blended Families, LDRs, Talking About the Future
The second mailbag episode of the summer is here! Hear Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners from around the world, with three relationship dilemmas: the first is a fellow “Alexandra” who lives in England and is struggling with her blended family. Next, we hear from a listener in Hawaii who is trying to make a difficult decision about their relationship. Finally, Dr. Alexandra answers a question from a listener in the UK who is ready to have a baby…but her boyfriend is not. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below.
"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Mailbag Episode! Part One
Throughout the summer, Dr. Alexandra will be answering listener questions through Mailbag Episodes. Today’s questions include a query from a listener in Los Angeles who is struggling with her feelings about a choice the guy she’s seeing has made, and isn’t sure how to proceed after a tricky conversation. Next, you’ll hear from Marina in London, who wants some extra support in the aftermath of infidelity. She’s curious about post-traumatic growth and what might be possible for her. Dr. Alexandra wraps things up with a question from a listener in New York, whose boyfriend of over a decade is ambivalent about the relationship and blowing hot and cold. Should she cut loose or stick it out until he makes up his mind? Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s takes on all of these relationship situations.
If you want to submit your own question, click the link below. You may just get yours answered on an upcoming mailbag episode this summer!
"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
When You're the Affair Partner
Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.
Relevant links:
"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Facebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion Group
Reimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single"
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
When Shame Blocks Repair
In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame
Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo
Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
"Why Can't I Get Over It?"
Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it.
Relevant links:
Access this episode's companion worksheet here
Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit
Reimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"
Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter