Family of Origin Roles Series: The Perfect One (From Performance to Presence)
This article is based on the Reimagining Love podcast episode “Family of Origin Roles Series: The Perfect One (From Performance to Presence).” To listen to this episode, click here.
This article is the first of six articles (based on solo episodes of the podcast) that we’ll be sharing here over the next few months about Family of Origin Roles.
Hi there, and welcome back to the blog! The introductory episode of the podcast came out a few weeks ago, so if you didn’t have the chance to listen to that, I’ve linked it here. And if you’re familiar with Family of Origin Roles, then you’re all ready to dive in with me today as we shine a spotlight one by one on each of the six roles in my framework. This article is all about the Perfect One role. Reminder that this work is about gaining insight into yourself and your relationship to relationships and fueling your reclamation of wholeness. But this work is also an empathy builder, helping you more deeply understand the people who matter most to you. So as we move through this work, I’m talking mostly to the Perfect One but I also know that you might be here because your partner or bestie or sibling is a Perfect One. Your curiosity about their journey will help you deepen your connection with them! In this article we will look at the origin story for the Perfect One, the cultural factors that might create and reinforce that Perfect One role, the impact of being a Perfect One on friendships, work relationships, and intimate partnership, and then interventions– not to fix you because you are broken, but practices to liberate you from the traps of performance and offer you permission to be more multifaceted.
Maybe you have already taken my Family of Origin Roles quiz, which you can find here, and identified yourself as a Perfect One. You probably already have a sense of why that role suits you or captures the experiences that you had in your family system growing up. But here are some kind of check-in, telltale signs that this may have been your role. You were praised for your accomplishments in school, sports, and extracurricular activities. The Big People in your home expected you to succeed and failure didn’t feel like an option. You locked into the things you were good at/showed promise in at an early age, rather than having permission to explore, experiment, and fail at new things. As an adult, you seek validation and affirmation of your worthiness through tangible accomplishments. You may believe you’re only as good and worthy of love as your job title, latest career win, parenting flex, fitness milestone, or breathtaking vacation photos on IG. It feels good when people are impressed by you. And for each of the 6 roles, we are going to assign a sort of BUMPER STICKER or catch phrase. For the Perfect One, the motto or core belief is this: I am loved to the degree that I'm performing.
Additionally, I wanted to share some examples of the Perfect One in pop culture. One of the beautiful things about art and media is it gives us a chance to see ourselves in characters on the screen. So my team and I had fun brainstorming the fictional representations that we think capture each of these roles. So for the Perfect One, think Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series, and the way she is celebrated for being studious and always knowing the answer. Or think of Molly from Issa Rae’s TV show Insecure, the high-achieving lawyer who is killing it at work but struggles with imperfections that come up in her relationships. Or think Kendall Roy, Jeremy Strong’s character in HBO’s Succession, whose Machiavellian approach to business and relationships reflects his need to keep proving his worth again and again. There are countless other examples in the stories we watch and consume, and by the end of this article I bet you’ll be able to think of some of your own. Send me an email or a DM and let me know who you come up with!!
Origin Story: FOO
The utility of this Family of Origin Roles framework is that it provides us a way of connecting then to now. So, let's dig into what the experiences that you might have had in your early years that primed you to show up in relationships as a Perfect One. Remember that one of the features of a system is that a system attempts to create homeostasis by any means necessary. Like an ecosystem, where different species play different roles that allow the environment to continue existing and self-sustaining. In the same way, a family is a system, oriented towards creating homeostasis, safety, stability. Or whatever approximation they can muster. So your family system cast you into a role, and you took this role on, because safety is so primary to all of us throughout our lives. This is the reason that we get put into boxes, and unfortunately, those boxes become limiting when we carry them with us into the rest of our life. Carrying a belief that, “I have to be this way in order to be loved, in order to be connected, in order to belong,” is exhausting.
Ready to nerd out on some niche but totally helpful psychological theory? Here we go! One of the early thinkers in the world of psychodynamic psychology, which is the branch of psychology that's deeply invested in helping adults understand the impact of their past, is Heinz Kohut, and his school of thought is called self psychology. And I've always found this idea from self psychology to be particularly helpful, the idea that when we're little, we have two central developmental needs. They’re called (1) mirroring transference and (2) idealizing transference, and they are both essential for our development. (Side note: technically there’s a third one called the twinning transference but we’re not dealing with that one today).
Mirroring transference is the idea that in order to feel safe, we have to feel loved. We have to feel like we're the apple of somebody's eye. There’s a clip from Oprah Winfrey in conversation with the great author Toni Morrison from a bunch of years ago that captures this idea perfectly. Toni Morrison is talking about parenting and how when her kids were little and they would walk in the room, she would look them up and down and make sure that they didn't have any food on their face and that their shirts were tucked into their pants. But at some point, she realized that what her kids really wanted and needed when they walked in the room was for her face to light up. Just for her to convey, “I'm so happy that you're here.” And that's Mirroring. It’s not “do you look okay?” Mirroring is about feeling like somebody's happy to see you. And when we are provided with adequate mirroring when we're little, then through a fancy process that Kohut calls Transmuting Internalization, we are able to mirror ourselves. We are able to validate our own worthiness because it was given to us. We now can give it to ourselves through Transmuting Internalization.
So, if in your family growing up the most effective route to mirroring was an “A” on a spelling test or a goal that you scored while your caregivers were on the sidelines, you may have come to believe that you are loved to the degree that you are successful, because your mirroring needs were met primarily through performance. That may have been the case because your family system was highly achievement-oriented—more on that in a moment. Or it may be the case that one or both of your parents were the Perfect Ones in their own families. And so, this deeply held belief was passed right on to you.
Another route this could have gone is if your parents were struggling in some way—with mental health challenges, addiction, or the lingering impact of their own abuse and trauma. In that case, there was little to nothing you could do to move them out of their own focus on their pain and get them to focus on you. So, performance may have been, in some ways, just a strategy that you used to shake them awake.
So, we talked about Kohut’s first of two central developmental needs in his framework, that was Mirroring Transference. The second is Idealizing Transference. He posits that healthy development in little people rests on them being able to feel safe in the world. And when you're little, the way you feel safe is believing your caregivers to be big, strong, tough, perfect, beautiful, right, and reliable. So, your ability to idealize your parents is what keeps you safe. And then as you get older, you take on those qualities yourself and you come to know yourself as someone who is able to create safety for yourself, who is able to stand up for yourself in difficult moments.
You may have ended up being a Perfect One because your parents’ idealiz-ability was all about them being highly accomplished, having lots of accolades, and lots of external affirmation. What was seen as powerful and strong was being put up on a pedestal or being successful according to classic metrics, like money and admiration. So then, the way that you took that on yourself was internalizing this idea that strength = people being wowed by you. The way that your parents conveyed you were safe in the world was, “look at all that I've done and all that I have.” That was the way they operationalized safety, stability, and protection.
Reminder that we’re also saying that you could have ended up taking on the role as the Perfect One as a response to underfunctioning parents. In either case, you adopted a mindset growing up that being perfect was the quickest route to stability and love.
So we’ve talked a lot about the modeling and the internalizing that may have gone on for you as a child, that led you to the Perfect One role. It may have also been the case that you took on this role as a means of differentiation from your sibling or siblings. If we think about parental attention as a limited and finite resource in a family with multiple kids, each child has got to figure out their strategy to get the needed and limited resource of parental attention. And so those of us who end up as Perfect Ones learned that the best route to parental attention is performance and achievement, while our siblings may have used different strategies. With this in mind, it’s possible that your path to becoming the Perfect One could have been less about the Idealizing Transference and Mirroring Transference we discussed earlier, and more about attempting to set yourself apart from the other kids in your system. I grew up in a sibling system of 5, and I can see the different strategies that each of us used to cope with problematic dynamics and to attempt to create a sense of stability… but also to differentiate ourselves in an attempt to get attention.
When we are little, attention equals safety. We need to feel like, “I'm safe here,” “I belong here,” “People remember that I am here.” We get confirmation of that by getting parental attention.
Origin Story: Culture
So, as we always do, we want to now widen our lens and look at the ways in which your socialization informed your role. For example, when we think about the gendered messages that might undergird somebody who's living as a Perfect One and as a boy or a man, who was socialized in the masculine, we imagine that they received some very powerful messaging, whether direct or indirect, due to their role AND their gender socialization. Some of those messages might have sounded like: “In order to be admired, you have to be beyond reproach,” “In order to be admired, you have to be flawless,” or “In order to be admired, you can never let them see you sweat.” Your way of staying safe was deflecting criticism and minimizing screw-ups. Here, we can think of perfectionism as a performance of masculinity. For boys, that comes through perhaps around athletic prowess, confidence, and garnering the attention of girls and women—those kind of “statusy,” admirable, powerful manifestations of the “strong man.”
And for folks who were socialized in the feminine, who were the daughters in their family and also Perfect Ones, some of those same messages about needing to be flawless and beyond reproach would apply, and additionally, perhaps you internalized messages like: “In order to be admired, you have to be smart but not bossy,” “In order to be admired, you have to be beautiful,” or “In order to be admired, you have to be nice to everyone, at all times.” These are all efforts to make things okay. If I'm enough like this, my family will be okay. I'll be okay.
Now, let’s explore some other intersections of identity and the role of the Perfect One. The following are some hypotheses about how your role as the Perfect One may have taken on added layers of pressure, depending on your identity. The context of your unique family system obviously applies, but see if any of these land for you:
For folks who grew up in BIPOC families and identify as the Perfect One, you sat at the intersection of that role and your marginalized identity, and that may have added yet another layer of pressure. Perhaps in addition to feeling the need to be perfect for yourself and your family, you also felt like you had to be a testament to your community and your racial identity, through the performance of perfection. For example, in a society like ours where racism and xenophobia are alive and well, immigrant families likely feel both internal and external pressure to prove themselves, excel, and persevere in a culture that’s so often betting against them. This pressure is inevitably going to be felt and internalized by kids, and if you’re the Perfect One in an immigrant family, that’s a particularly heavy weight to bear.
When we look at cultural identities, we know that rather than celebrating all of the different ways of being a human, our culture has found ways to turn differences into hierarchies. Therefore in any realm of minoritized or marginalized or otherized identity (think ability, think sexuality, think gender expression, think anything that has to do with body size and bs definitions of beauty, think socioeconomic status), you were told again and again in ways big and small that who you are is less than. And you adopting the Perfect One role may have been you internalizing the message that you have to hustle to make up for that which the world has told you is a deficiency. Your healing begins with you connecting those dots so that you can reinforce for yourself that this was a message that was sent to you but it is not capital T truth about you. Your healing is reinforced again and again by you providing yourself with the affirmation the world has not offered… and being in community with others who reflect your wholeness back to you. And community in which you shine on others who are like you. Our devotion to seeing the wholeness in others has this side effect of helping us see it in ourselves.
How Your Role Impacts You Today: Friendship
Now that we’ve explored the Perfect One’s origin story, let’s come back to the present moment and look at the Perfect One as an adult, in friendships, in work, and in relationships. So, how do Perfect Ones tend to show up in friendships? Well, of course, as therapists love to say, “it depends.” Lots of idiosyncrasies and individual differences here, but we may notice some of the following themes. Perhaps you’re the friend who takes on all the responsibility when it comes to planning, communicating, and tending to the friendship. Maybe you’re the type to get the “perfect” birthday gift every time, or meticulously plan a “perfect” event for someone. Maybe you’re always the one supporting friends when they’re struggling, and not the other way around. Perhaps you are seen as the leader of your group of friends, the one who always has their life together. Don’t get me wrong, these are lovely qualities, and if this is you, your friends are lucky to have someone who is so attentive and thoughtful about the friendship, and who they probably look up to. Where it becomes tricky, though, is when Perfect Ones derive their worthiness from the extent to which they can show up “perfectly” in a friendship. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for them to seek support when they need it, and it’s also just a lot of pressure. Consider how your role as the Perfect One has potentially prevented you from being truly vulnerable in your friendships, from showing your messy sides and leaning on people when you need them the most.
Here is a vulnerable share for you all. Spoiler alert, my FOO role is the Perfect One. I often have ambivalence about accomplishments in my friendships. I want to brag to you because you being proud of me feels like love, but especially in friendships, I’m scared to brag because if I’m big, will you feel small? Recently a friend shared with me that when I brush past an accomplishment, she feels frustrated with me. She is part of me, so my wins are our wins. I also hypothesized that when I downplay, it lands condescendingly. As if I can’t trust that you can handle my wins (like when someone who went to Harvard tells you that they went to school just outside of Boston). This was huge for me to hear. It prompted me to bring this conversation and realization to my work team. I promised them and myself that I would slow down and savor and celebrate. I feel 100% clear that my wins only happen because of how well supported I am and how brilliant and competent my team is but somehow that isn’t enough to override this deeper ambivalence. I’m a work in progress!
How Your Role Impacts You Today: Work
Now, what about Perfect Ones in a work context? Having that drive towards perfection likely serves you in your career, which is fantastic—you’re likely ultra-meticulous, goal-oriented, and driven to perform at a high level, at all times. Maybe you’re the star of your team or have built a successful business of your own. Most workplaces value achievement and performance, so the Perfect One is right at home, and likely thriving. Kudos to you!
There are, however, some potential challenges for the Perfect One at work. The person who is receiving lots of praise and accolades can have a complicated relationship with their colleagues, especially if it’s a competitive workplace, and that can be hard to manage. Additionally, Perfect Ones may be most prone to becoming quote “workaholics,” or labeled as such by the people around them. I’ve talked on the show before about what happens when one partner is in a demanding job and how that can impact a relationship. If you’re that career-focused person burning the midnight oil, it can feel really confusing, because on the one hand, you’re getting gold stars at work for pushing yourself and going above and beyond. But at home with your partner, that quality could be a source of tension, frustration, and disappointment.
How Your Role Impacts You Today: Intimate Relationship
We’ve talked through how Perfect Ones show up in friendships and at work. Now, I want to explore common experiences that Perfect Ones have within intimate relationships. Que up vulnerable share #2. Todd and I were having a conversation about a big project I’d just wrapped up, something that was a really meaningful achievement for me in my career. And what I noticed was that during the conversation, I was so sensitive to Todd’s reactions and affect—even though I knew, and always know, how proud he is of me. The thing is, as a Perfect One, remember my bumper sticker, “I am loved to the degree that I'm performing.” So, if Todd is not adequately conveying that he's impressed, or conveying that in a way that’s legible to me, especially around a big achievement, then these phrases might creep into my mind: Nothing I do is enough, I can't make you happy even when I achieve big things. It’s sneaky, and it’s something that I want Perfect Ones to look out for in themselves.
When you feel the need to bring straight A's and gold stars and victories to an intimate partner, and feel dependent on a certain kind of affirmation for those wins, it can put strain on the relationship. It’s important for partners to celebrate and affirm each other, and I am all for that, of course. But when a Perfect One is reliant on this kind of affirmation to feel worthy of love, when it feels like the only route, they are putting themselves and their partner in a precarious position. Their partner might feel confused, because although they share the excitement for their partners’ achievements, those achievements aren’t the reason they love their partner. But even if they have expressed this very clearly, their Perfect One partner keeps seeking this affirmation or looking for proof that their achievements are enough, that they have earned their love. The partner of the Perfect One might think, “Why do you need a steady stream of affirmation when you already know I think you're awesome?”
And what happens is, this affirmation-seeking tendency of the Perfect One has the potential to collapse any space for a partner to feel ambivalent, or just less enthusiastic, about the Perfect One's latest win. This might come up, for example, if a Perfect One partner gets promoted, and their partner is both proud of their win and nervous about how it could impact their lifestyle. We can all agree that the partner is allowed to feel that ambivalence, and that their ambivalence can sit right next to their pride and support. But there’s little room left for this in-between state when the Perfect One needs a certain level of affirmation from them. Additionally, if partners have different aspirations or interests, we of course would expect them to have differing levels of enthusiasm about certain achievements. If a Perfect One partner is really into fitness, and they achieve one of their goals, their partner might not “feel” or “get” that achievement in the way that the Perfect One does, despite being able to celebrate and shine on their partner. But to the Perfect One, that might make them feel insecure, or even more affirmation-seeking.
It may also be the case that Perfect Ones do unto others as they do unto themselves. You hold others to the same high and narrow standards that you hold yourself. You speak to others with the same critical tone you use when you are speaking to yourself. Hold open the possibility that the people around you feel like they are not enough for you, like they don’t measure up, like you are disappointed in them. Let that awareness in gently, gently. If this is feeling true, you can be compassionate for all the reasons you came to be this way even as you begin to practice a new way.
In an intimate partnership, two people either share the same role or they occupy different roles, right? In this Todd and Alexandra example, we have a Perfect One and, drum roll, an Easy One. We came together across a role difference. And we talked about how the partner of a Perfect One might experience one or more of the following:
“What the hell? I already affirmed you.”
“You are a bottomless well of mirroring needs.”
“What do I do about my ambivalence about your achievement?”
“Can I be different from you and still be admired by you?”
“You’re as hard on me as you are on yourself!”
Those are the central tensions when a Perfect One has partnered across roles.
So, what happens when two Perfect Ones find their way to each other? The cool thing about that is that each of you probably really clearly understands how to affirm the other. Your affirmation sources are so similar, and perhaps part of the attraction was the way that you “got each other” in that way. Maybe you have similar ambitions around work and your careers, or love athletic challenges. Maybe you both value having an aesthetically-pleasing home. In any case, part of your attraction to each other may have been due to these shared ambitions.
For Perfect Ones out there who are partnered together, the challenge might be that it's really hard for both of you to show each other your messy stuff. If both of you struggle to trust that you can own a shortcoming or a misstep and still be safe, your disagreements are at risk of becoming fingerpointy-blame-game types of conflict. You may also feel competitive with each other at times, analyzing who’s thriving more at work, who has a more vibrant social life, who’s able to better manage their stress. Competition in a relationship can be a double-edged sword: it can be a powerful source of attraction, and a powerful source of tension. The thing is, when you're locked into comparison, you don't ever get to just exhale and feel safe and steady as you are.
Additionally, there can be a developmental piece here. If the two of you came together because you were law school classmates, for example, or you joined a company at the same time, or you met in a CrossFit box, those shared experiences were likely a source of bonding and attraction. When one of you decides to step away from CrossFit or one of you has a baby or one of you makes a career pivot, that can feel like a loss, and then the question arises of, “What are our sources of connection, and what are our sources of admiration? Can you still respect me if our paths diverge? Can you still admire me, when my metrics for success have changed?”
Where to Go From Here
So, we’ve talked all about the features of the Perfect Ones out there, and how they show up individually, as well as in their friendships, at work, and in their intimate partnerships. Where do the Perfect Ones go from here? I want you to think about the way forward as a process of affirming your strengths, softening the edges of your limitations and blind spots, and liberating yourself from the belief that you are loved to the degree you are performing. I’ll start by sharing one of my favorite reminders, because it’s especially important for the Perfect Ones out there: I'm a human being, not a human doing.
You can repeat this phrase to yourself in those moments where you feel like you’re coming up short, when life gets messy, or when you make a mistake. We are not machines, we are humans, and we need to treat ourselves as such. I also want the Perfect Ones to really explore their relationship with their ambition. You may very well think of your ambition as a virtue. There’s a quote I love from an article in The Atlantic by Derek Thompson, published in 2022. He writes, “Some people think about career ambition as a profound virtue. Others think of it as something closer to a capitalist sin. I think ambition is a taste.” He then goes on to use his love of Central Coast California wines as a helpful analogy. He says that while he personally loves this kind of wine, he doesn’t mind when he meets people who don’t care about it, because this is just his taste. It’s not a virtue to love this kind of wine, it’s just something he personally loves.
For Perfect Ones, remember that your ambition is something to be proud of. But if those around you don’t have that same drive, or don’t fully understand your motivation towards certain goals, that doesn’t need to dampen your sense of fulfillment. And, importantly, those folks aren’t “less than” for having a different relationship to ambition.
So, can you get to know your ambition a little better? If you’re looking for a tangible step to take after reading this article, this is a great place for some journaling. This could also be a meditation. Imagine your ambition sitting in a chair in front of you. What does it look like? How old is it? Speak to it. Listen to its stories. What is it proud of? What is it afraid of? What does it try to keep you from feeling? In all likelihood, this quality of yours is a blend of gift and wound. It’s this really beautiful part of you that kept you safe when you were little, that got you the love that you needed, that has opened doors for you, that has been a reasonably reliable source of self-esteem and self-worth. That's beautiful. And that very same ambition has potentially kept you from prioritizing relationships, or has led you to create unrealistic, unkind, or unsustainable demands of yourself and the people in your life. Perhaps it has left you exhausted, or left you in a constant state of needing to reaffirm, again and again, that you are good enough as you are. These are all important things for the Perfect One to consider.
Guidance for those who love a Perfect One
Okay, now I'm speaking to all of you out there who are listening who aren't identifying as the Perfect One. What do you need to know if you're in a relationship with one of these people, and how can you help them? How can you be an ally to them and better understand them?
Well, speaking of ambition, it’s really important for you to investigate your own relationship with ambition. Maybe your Perfect One partner views ambition as a virtue. The dynamic in your relationship might be such that you have come to view ambition as a sin, because this has been a source of tension for the two of you. Ask yourself, what is your own history with ambition? What are the more ambivalent or mixed feelings about ambition that you came into this relationship with? Do you know where those might have originated from?
By being partnered with somebody who uses ambition as both a gift and a coping mechanism, it might be really easy for you to locate all of your negative feelings about ambition in your partner and start to look down on that quality, when what's more accurate is that perhaps you have your own mixed history with it. So, can you explore your feelings about ambition? What shifts for you when you view your Perfect One's need for affirmation as a lingering echo of an old wound? When you view it that way, does it open up some compassion for you? Does it open up some patience for you? Does it contextualize it a little bit for you?
Here are some more action steps for the partner of the Perfect One: As your partner commits to sourcing their worth from multiple streams, can you sometimes just give them what they want and affirm them? Knowing that you're not feeding the beast. And by the way, it has to be both—as the Perfect One commits to finding other routes to feel good about themself, their partner commits to, “I'll sometimes just give you the cookie that you want.” And they can continue to pave a new way.
The partners of the Perfect Ones out there also have the honor of playing a really integral role in the Perfect One’s journey. They get to show them that as much as they’re proud of their accomplishments, these accolades aren’t the reasons they are loved in this relationship. You get to show your Perfect One partner that you love them because of who they are, not what they achieved. And this is just one of many liberating realizations for the Perfect One.
Now I wanted to share some liberatory practices, tailored for the Perfect Ones. Gabor Maté has this really nice practice, in which he asks us: “What is the “No” inside of you that needs to be said? What is the thing that you are doing that you need to be liberated from?” I think the Perfect Ones probably are people who are at risk of doing too much, because of the belief that they have to be doing stuff in order to be loved. So, a journaling prompt would be to write ask yourself, and write about:
What is the whispering “no” inside of you that needs to be listened to? A thing that you're doing, a thing you've said yes to that you really have no business saying yes to. A thing you're currently doing or a thing you're considering doing that really, if you believed fully in your worth, you would just say no to. If you believe yourself to be enough as you are right now, you'd decline. Explore this question through journaling and see what comes up for you. I also want to emphasize the importance of rest, scheduling pleasure, and scheduling play. As a Perfect One, these things might not come naturally to you, and you might need to build them in more deliberately. So take the time to map out your day so that you have that protected time that’s more about “being” than “doing.” This is not some silly, woo woo, self-care thing. It’s actually essential in your healing. Because the goal is to be able to oscillate between: “I step into things that are accomplishment and achievement based, and I step away from those things. I step out of that energy, and back in.” I want you to feel like you can kind of swing between those energies, rather than having to have the foot on the accelerator until you collapse, for fear of what will happen if you slow down.
To close things out, I want to do a little reflection practice with you. You can close your eyes if you want. And now, I want you to think of a time, either recently or further in the past, when someone was appreciative of you, or loved you, for something that wasn't related to an accomplishment. Maybe someone complimented you because of your kindness or your silliness, or they thanked you for sitting with them in a hard moment or making them laugh. Maybe someone thanked you for holding the door. Even if they didn’t express this directly to you, you may have been able to sense that your mere presence brought them ease or joy. You can be celebrated for your accomplishments, but you don’t need to be accomplishing to be loved.
The writer and poet Maya Angelou has a very famous quote that I’m sure you’ve heard, which goes, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” When you are with people you love, see if you can feel the way in which they're happy just because you're there. In that moment, when you're with somebody who matters to you, take a second and just imagine what your presence feels like to them. Imagine what it feels like to them that they get to sit next to you, that they get to share space with you, that they get to share time with you. If you need a shortcut to this exercise, think about how you feel about this person that you love, sitting by you right now? If they’re a good friend, you’re probably just happy to be sitting across from them, and their entering the room just makes you smile. If that’s the case, I’m willing to bet that they feel that same way about you.
So, to close, I want to remind the Perfect Ones out there of a few things, through a series of mantras that you can repeat to yourself, whenever you need to:
I am loved because I am infinitely more than my last accomplishments.
My work is not my worth.
No success or failure that has the power to make me more or less of who I am.
As a reminder, if you’d like to take the roles quiz, you can find it here. Check the blog soon for an article exploring the next of the six roles. And at the end of this series, we’ll be sharing a worksheet with tailored journaling prompts and practices for all of the roles, So if you’d like to receive that later this winter, make sure you’re signed up for my newsletter. Visit dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe to get added to the list. Thanks for joining me, and be well.s, we’ll be sharing a worksheet with tailored journaling prompts and practices for all of the roles, so if you’d like to receive that later this winter, make sure you’re signed up for my newsletter, which you can find a link for in the show notes. Or, visit dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe to get added to the list. Thanks for joining me, and until next time, be well.