I’m a therapist, teacher, author, and yes, an unapologetic love nerd.
I'm obsessed with all things love. Through Relational Self-Awareness — the practice of getting curious about your patterns and how you show up in relationships — my work gives you both the emotional validation and concrete tools to create a relationship that feels alive and deeply yours.
AS SEEN ON
In your most important relationships, you are put face to face with vital questions about who you are, and what you want.
A BRIEF BIOResearch has repeatedly shown that the quality of our relationships is the most salient determinant of the quality of our lives. Yet, few of us have received the relationship education needed to create relationships founded in curiosity, authenticity, and integrity. I’ve spent my career as a therapist, teacher, and author, making it my mission to ensure that research and clinical wisdom travel from the ivory tower and from therapists’ offices into the hands and hearts of people who crave healthy relationships.
Career Highlights
LICENSED CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST & COUPLES THERAPIST
For nearly 25 years, Dr. Alexandra worked as a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and in 2024, she founded her private practice, The Institute for Relational Self-Awareness. Her clinical work combines cutting-edge research, theory, and clinical tools to help individuals, couples, and adult family systems cultivate awareness, curiosity, and authenticity in their relationships.
PROFESSOR, NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY
Dr. Alexandra spent many years as a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, teaching graduate courses for students in the Masters of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy (MSMFT) Program, including Systemic Assessment and Intimate Relations.
She continues to be an adjunct professor in the School of Education and Social Policy, teaching Northwestern University’s most popular course, Marriage 101. The wildly popular course has reached thousands of young people over 25 years, teaching them relational skills before they need them — with warmth, humor, and deeply practical wisdom.
FOUNDER, INSTITUTE FOR RELATIONAL SELF-AWARENESS (IRSA)
In 2024, Dr. Alexandra founded the Institute for Relational Self-Awareness (IRSA), cementing her legacy as a leader in the field. IRSA houses her current clinical practice and serves as the hub for her approach, which centers on developing curious, compassionate awareness of how we show up in love.
BESTSELLING AUTHOR & THOUGHT LEADER
Dr. Alexandra is the author of three best-selling books: Loving Bravely, Taking Sexy Back, and Love Everyday. Her writing bridges the academic and the accessible, offering readers both validation and concrete tools for transformation. She's also a prolific contributor to leading academic journals and writes a popular blog for Psychology Today.
It’s my mission to ensure that research and clinical wisdom travel from the ivory tower into the hands and hearts of people who are craving healthy relationships.
EDUCATION
BA, Psychology and Women's Studies, University of Michigan, 1995
MA, Counseling Psychology, Northwestern University, 1998
Certificate in Gender Studies, Northwestern University, 2001
PhD, Counseling Psychology, Northwestern University, 2001
SELECT PUBLICATIONS
Solomon, A.H. (November/December, 2025). 5 most popular therapist memes: Humor and insights your colleagues are sharing. Psychotherapy Networker.
Solomon, A. H. (August, 2025). Navigating pace discrepancies in your relationship: Advice from Dr. Alexandra Solomon. Therapist.com.
Solomon, A.H. (July, 2025). Collaborate wisely. Psychotherapy Networker.
Solomon, A.H. (January, 2024). Work issues at the heart of couples’ conflicts: Exploring our relationship with our jobs. Psychotherapy Networker.
Francis, S. & Solomon, A.H. (November/December, 2023). Love letters to the field: Supporting our big,hairy, audacious dreams. Psychotherapy Networker.
Featured Media
Internationally recognized as one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, Dr. Alexandra’s framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe.
WE CAN DO HARD THINGS PODCAST
Is Work Stress Sabotaging Your Relationships? A conversation with the beloved We Can Do Hard Things crew on one of the most common — and least talked about — sources of relationship tension: our careers.
THE "BIRD THEORY" TEST AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPPBS News Hour
Dive into the latest viral relationship test on the importance of engaging with partners when looking for a connection.
BECOMING BETTER AT LOVE1A
Many of us could be better—to our partners and to ourselves. But how do you get better at loving and being loved in return?
CAN YOU CHANGE YOUR PARTNER?We Can Do Hard Things Podcast
Explore the delicate tension between accepting your partner's behavior and advocating for change, and discover the role you play.
FAMILY DYNAMICS INFLUENCE YOUR PERSONALITY AT WORKFast Company
The person you were inside your family relationship can impact how you act in the workplace today
Truth + Dare: The Loving Bravely Challenge
READY TO GET CURIOUS?We all have a “signature move” in love — the way we show up when things are smooth and when they get bumpy. This quiz will reveal yours and give you a personalized Loving Bravely Challenge:
Your Truth: the self-awareness nugget you didn’t know you needed
Your Dare: a simple action that could change the vibe in your relationship today
E-COURSE: INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 101Reimagine what’s possible for your intimate relationship.
The research is clear: our relationships are the biggest determinant of our happiness. Yet we’re never taught how to “do” them. Intimate Relationships 101 is the relationship education you always needed but never received. This comprehensive course will teach you the art and science of loving and being loved.