Revisit & Reflect: Dr. Thema Bryant on How to Heal Through Resting
We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload!) and lots of that information is about mental health, wellness, and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us. Whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation. This creates insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior.
Reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive. Originally released in September 2022, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Thema Bryant discuss the importance of resting and of tapping into the things that make you feel truly alive. They also recognize that the ways the system impacts our sense of identity may hinder us from experiencing ease in rest or leisure. They invite us to incorporate these essential self-care acts into our lives little by little.
Get out your favorite pen and journal to reflect on these perspectives:
- Many of your struggles are influenced by systemic issues and are not as personal as you might think. Acknowledging this makes a lot of the negative voices in our heads that are related to our worth less of a mystery - often, they did not come from us.
- Rest is a radical act of self-compassion and connection (and not selfish or lazy!), although many people find it very difficult to slow down for a variety of reasons, particularly those from historically excluded identities.
- While slowing down can feel overwhelming because it brings up avoided emotions, integrating this practice gradually, and slowly noticing the information our emotions provide us, can allow us to tap into our truth.
Journaling Prompts:
- How do the macro issues of the world shape your sense of yourself in this moment today? What do the voices in your head tell you about your worth? Did that voice come from you? How might you show up differently if you rejected what the voices told you when they told you negative things about your worth?
- What's your relationship with rest and stillness? Is there some discomfort there? What, perhaps, keeps you from feeling at ease while resting? What does it feel like in your body to be still, to do nothing, to not be productive? What does doing something just for the sake of doing it, not as a means to an end, but just to be in the moment - what does that feel like? What's coming up for you as we sit here together right now?
- What comes to mind when you are being invited to reconnect with some neglected parts of yourself?
- What are you doing when you feel the most alive? What's the setting? What's the context? What time of day is it? What are you up to? What are the constraints to entering that space that makes you feel most alive? What, perhaps, keeps you from feeling entitled to make space for that which makes you come alive?
- What is a pledge that you can make to yourself this week to carve out even the tiniest bit more space for rest, for stillness, for doing that which makes you feel alive? And if and when you carve out a little tiny bit more space, can you just notice and land and savor how you feel when you enter that space of rest and stillness?
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Reimagining Love episode, Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryant
- Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant:
- The Homecoming Podcast:
- Dr. Thema’s Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema
- Tricia Hershey’s The Nap Ministry (Healing via the REST IS RESISTANCE framework):
- Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
- Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandra
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
Revisit & Reflect: Drs. John & Julie Gottman on Protecting Connection in Your Relationship
Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior.
With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection.
You’ll come away from this episode with:
- A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.
- An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.
- A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.
Journaling Prompts:
- What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?
- What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?
- In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.
- What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?
“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh
Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra
Reimagining Love Episode, How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter