What To Do When Your Partner Is Struggling (Part One)
In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.
In this first part, Dr. Alexandra is going to be contextualizing this scenario and providing lots of validation for the struggle that comes with having a struggling partner. She is also going to discuss factors that shape how your partner’s struggle impacts you. Hard things are just hard, but the ways you’re getting activated in the wake of your partner’s struggle also have a lot to do with your specific wounds, as well as the role you played in your family of origin.
The insights shared in this episode lay the groundwork for a two-part series designed to equip you with effective coping strategies to maintain your well-being while fostering intimacy and connection, even in challenging times.
You’ll come away from this conversation with:
- A deeper understanding of what Dr. Alexandra calls the Recursive Relational Framework (RRF)
- Research examples that demonstrate that your partner’s struggles affect you and that how you respond can influence their outcome.
- Strategies for recognizing and managing your emotional triggers in response to a partner's distress.
- Practical tips for fostering personal growth while supporting a partner through their challenges.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Get the FREE Family of Origin Roles Workbook: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesworkbook/
- Family of Origin Series Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/58WZg044gbmGsL6iPNxXJy?si=bajzkF-kRxG3WL76yJL-qw
- Take the Family of Origin Role Quiz: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/rolesquiz/
- Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
Articles mentioned in the episode:
- Impact of living with an adult with depressive symptoms among households in the United States: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0165032723015082#:~:text=Adults%20without%20depressive%20symptoms%20living%20in%20a%20depression%20household%20%28n,related%20visits%2C%20were%20not%20significant.
- The Impact of Bipolar Disorder on Couple Functioning: Implications for Care and Treatment. A Systematic Review: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8400362/
- Review and Meta-analysis of Couple-Oriented Interventions for Chronic Illness: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8400362/
- Family Function Impacts Relapse Tendency in Substance Use Disorder: Mediated Through Self-Esteem and Resilience: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8882822/#:~:text=Specifically%2C%20the%20family%20function%20is,love%20and%20identification%20%2823%29.
- Family members’ experiences of ‘living well’ with a family member with depression: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1322769624000040?dgcid=rss_sd_all#bbib1
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
How Healing Your Inner Child Can Deepen Your Relationships with Christine Hassler
What if the key to deeper intimacy lies in understanding the echoes of our past? Dr. Alexandra Solomon sits with Christine Hassler, a Master coach, podcast host, and author, to discuss how our family of origin roles shape our present connections, emphasizing the importance of inner child work and relational self-awareness. Christine shares her journey through the unhealthy patterns that surfaced in her own relationship with her partner, Stef, offering a raw look at the necessity of self-reflection in cultivating healthier dynamics.
You'll come away from this episode with:
- A deeper understanding of how family of origin influences shape your current relationships.
- Practical strategies for engaging in inner child work to enhance self-awareness and relational dynamics.
- Insights into the importance of self-advocacy (especially as women!) and authentic communication in intimate partnerships.
- Perspective on how our professional roles and work offer yet another arena for us to notice and tend to old pain and create new ways of relating to ourselves and the world around us.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Podcast - Life Coaching with Christine Hassler:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-coaching-with-christine-hassler/id1050321415
- Christine Hassler’s The Women’s Retreat in San Diego, Oct 17-19, 2025:
https://christinehassler.com/womensretreat/
- “Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
- Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandra
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
End or Mend: Managing Difficult Family Relationships with Nedra Tawwab
[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode]
Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.
Relevant links:
Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab
The Drama Free Workbook: Practical Exercises for Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Listen to Nedra's podcast, You Need to Hear This
Connect with Nedra online and on Instagram
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
What Role Did You Play in Your Family of Origin?
In this in-depth solo episode, Dr. Alexandra explains the six common roles we played in our original family systems. Way before we ever were involved in a romantic relationship, we were part of a family system, and that system, for better or for worse, shaped our ideas about who we can and cannot be. Through understanding our past, we can see how these roles continue to show up in our relationships today and use that knowledge as a powerful Relational Self-Awareness tool.
Relevant links:
Take the Family of Origin Roles Quiz
Reimagining Love: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"
Dr. Alexandra's Psychotherapy Networker Article
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter