Communication and Conf..., Family, Self-Compassion and Se... Communication and Conf..., Family, Self-Compassion and Se...

“My Family is a Mess. Will The Dynamic Ever Change?”

When there’s a struggling person in a family, the system often coalesces around that individual, and while we might imagine these patterns get left behind when kids grow into adults, the dynamic often endures for the long run. Reimagining Love listener Cristina wrote in to Dr. Alexandra from Chicago, asking about how to better handle the challenges of such a situation. She’s the only one in her family who is in therapy, and she is eager to disrupt the dynamic. Cristina wants to stay connected to her sisters, despite the challenges they’ve faced, and her hope is to break longstanding patterns of over-accommodation and resentment while honoring her own needs as well as other family members’. Dr. Alexandra dives into this question with the goal of exploring an empowering therapeutic truth: that when you change your own dance moves, you can transform the entire system. If you’re dealing with something similar, this episode is going to offer you ways forward you may not have experimented yet, that could have the potential to change everything. If you’d like to submit a listener question of your own, you can do so by following the link below.

"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit

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Emotional Wellness, Family, Intimate Relationships, Parenting, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se..., Therapy Emotional Wellness, Family, Intimate Relationships, Parenting, Relational Self-Awareness, Self-Compassion and Se..., Therapy

Family of Origin Roles Series: The Easy One (From Accommodation to Authenticity)

Today’s episode is part of a solo series on Reimagining Love about Family of Origin Roles (a.k.a. FOO roles). Tune in on the first two Tuesdays of each month to learn about how the roles we were cast into as children and held within our family systems shape how we show up in our relationships today. Whether you were the one who held the family together, the rebel who pushed back against household norms, or the “easy” kid who flew under the radar, we all inhabited a position in the community of our family and absorbed certain messages about love, connection, and worthiness as a result. Check out the introductory episode of the series if you missed it last month!

We’re taking a look at “The Easy One” role in today’s episode. If you were the kid who could always “go with the flow” in your family, this might be you. As a child, you didn’t express a lot of needs (even though you had them, as we all do!), and that may have been a relief to the Big People in your system, because their attention was needed elsewhere. As an adult, you may identify as a people-pleaser, always attuning yourself to the people around you, wondering how you can make them comfortable or happy. You may believe you’re only worthy to the degree that you’re accommodating others. Does this sound like you, or someone you love? Listen to the episode to learn more about this role and how The Easy One can embark on their healing journey.

Visit www.masterclass.com/alexandrasolomon to check out the class I co-taught with Ryan Holiday and other experts about the wisdom of ancient philosophy and how it can help us improve communication, resilience, and relationships.

Relevant links:

Get the FREE Family of Origin Roles Workbook: Reclaiming You

Take the Family of Origin Roles Quiz

Reimagining Love: “Tending to ‘Little You’ & Exploring Your Family of Origin”

Dr. Alexandra’s Psychotherapy Networker Article

Resources about power exchange / kink:

Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Give the gift of Relational Self-Awareness! All of Dr. Alexandra's online offerings are 20% off until December 20th, 2024! They include the hallmark course "Intimate Relationships 101" and the Reimagining Love Workbook as a beautiful companion to this podcast. Visit https://dralexandrasolomon.com/giftguide2024/ to explore Relational Self-Awareness as you and your loved ones move into the new year.

Build essential relationship skills with MasterClass. Dr. Alexandra, Ryan Holiday, and other experts share how you can improve communication, resilience, and relationships with the class “Using Ancient Wisdom to Solve Modern Problems”. Learn more at http://www.masterclass.com/alexandrasolomon

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