Why Self-Compassion is an Essential Practice with Dr. Kristin Neff
Dr. Alexandra’s conversation with Dr. Kristin Neff is all about self-compassion, an essential tool for your emotional well-being toolkit (and that’s scientifically proven!). Dr. Kristen Neff, a trailblazer in the field of self-compassion research, introduces the three foundational pillars of self-compassion, illustrating how integrating all three of these elements empowers individuals to confront their inner critic and cultivate healthier connections.
The discussion delves into the biological and family of origin influences that shape our self-criticism, while also addressing the grief that may surface when embarking on a self-compassion journey. You will also learn about Fierce Self-Compassion, and how we can lean into this action-oriented facet to be ambitious and to fulfill our life’s purpose.
You’ll come away from this episode with:
- A deeper understanding of the three pillars of self-compassion and their impact on relationships.
- Insights into how practising self-compassion can cultivate self-love, foster connection, enhance intimacy, and reduce anxiety, shame, and isolation.
- A new perspective on some common myths of self-compassion, such as:
- Are self-compassion and self-esteem the same thing?
- Is “self-compassion” just “self-pity” rebranded?
- Does practising self-compassion encourage people to not take personal accountability?
- Does embracing self-compassion mean we can’t be ambitious or want to come in first place?
- Strategies for integrating self-compassion into your routine, with a simple starting point that Dr. Kristin Neff herself practises daily.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Learn more about Dr. Kristin Neff and Self-Compassion: https://self-compassion.org/
- Join the Self-Compassion Community: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-community/
- Fierce Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/fierce-self-compassion-how-to-harness-kindness-to-speak-up-claim-your-power-and-thrive-dr-kristin-neff/76d3f59a98e08da8?ean=9780062991065&next=t
- Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff: https://bookshop.org/p/books/self-compassion-the-proven-power-of-being-kind-to-yourself-dr-kristin-neff/a22f80fa1a9efa3b?ean=9780061733529&next=t
- Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
For Love, In Truth: How To Live Authentically and Find Joy with Dr. Martha Beck
“The cost of that is courage, to live for love, in truth. It takes a lot of guts and the rewards are indescribable.”
Dr. Alexandra sits down with bestselling author and coach Dr. Martha Beck to explore what it means to live “for love, in truth”, a mantra that can redefine the way we experience love and relationships. In a world filled with societal pressures and expectations, Martha shares her wisdom on how embracing authenticity can unlock profound joy and lead to fulfilling connections. Martha reflects on her unconventional journey through relationships, and the life-changing lessons learned from a spiritual experience she had while under anesthesia and from being shunned by her community in her young adulthood. Together, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Martha Beck tackle a listener's poignant question about experiencing doubt in her relationship that’s full of “emotional complexities and longing”, leading her to question if her needs are being met.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What Martha Beck means by her mantra, “For love, in truth,” and how to recognize when you’re living out of alignment with your truth.
- How to hold love and truth through moments of doubt and loss, and how to embrace doubt and loss as necessary aspects of growth.
- How to come back to peace when life feels overwhelming.
- How to balance compassion for your partner with holding your own truth, telling your own story, and tending to your personal needs.
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Learn more about Martha Beck: https://marthabeck.com/
- Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity and Finding Your Life’s Purpose by Martha Beck: https://bookshop.org/p/books/beyond-anxiety-curiosity-creativity-and-finding-your-life-s-purpose-martha-beck/6741d02da06f0869
- Martha Beck and Rowan Mangan’s Wilder Community: https://wildercommunity.com/
- Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
What To Do When Your Partner Is Struggling (Part Two)
In this two-part series, Dr. Alexandra will be taking you through how to take care of yourself and your relationship when your partner is struggling. Perhaps your partner is struggling with a job loss, a health diagnosis, a mental health challenge, the loss of a loved one, family drama, co-parenting with an ex, or something else entirely. Whatever it is, the theme is that there is some scenario that is taking up more of your partner’s bandwidth than usual, leaving less bandwidth for you and your relationship.
In this second part, Dr. Alexandra is going to take you through five internal strategies to cope with the situation at hand – strategies that are about how you can tend to and take care of yourself. Then she will take you through nine relational strategies – strategies that will help you and your partner maintain or restore your relationship even as your partner struggles.
You’ll come away with this conversation with:
- A toolkit of five internal strategies to support your own emotional health while caring for your partner.
- Nine actionable relational strategies to enhance communication and understanding in your relationship.
- Insights on the significance of self-care for the non-struggling partner and how it contributes to relationship health.
- Food-for-thought on resentment, grieving, high-functioning co-dependency, celebrating small victories, and rebuilding after a dark period (and so much more!)
Resources worth mentioning from the episode:
- Terri Cole’s Too Much: https://bookshop.org/p/books/too-much-a-guide-to-breaking-the-cycle-of-high-functioning-codependency-terri-cole-msw-lcsw/077213db5957f23e?ean=9781649631862&next=t&
- Reimagining Love episode, High-Functioning Codependency: From Managing to Loving with Terri Cole https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/high-functioning-codependency-from-managing-to-loving-with-terri-cole/
- Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass: http://masterclass.com/backtoschool
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
The Power of Parts Work: Embracing All of Ourselves with Britt Frank
When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame. Today’s guest, Britt Frank, sits down with Dr. Alexandra to make a compelling case for why it is essential to use the power of parts work to embrace these aspects of ourselves so that we can make better sense of the full range of the human experience and show up more fully in our important relationships.
You will come away from this episode with:
- Inspiration to embrace all parts of yourself, good and “bad”
- Know-how to A.L.I.G.N your mind, using this acronym to work with your parts
- Greater “parts literacy” to navigate your relationships with more skill, understanding, and compassion
- A new perspective on Attachment Styles in relation to our parts
“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefresh
Couple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra
Align Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work by Britt Frank
Learn more about Britt Frank at https://www.brittfrank.com/
Reimagining Love Episode, Finding The “Self”: Exploring Family Systems Therapy With Dr. Richard C. Schwartz
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Exploring Attachment: Transform Your Relationship Patterns with Thais Gibson
On today’s episode, we’re diving deep into the topic of attachment with guest Thais Gibson, an author, counselor, and the co-founder of The Personal Development School. While the discourse around attachment so often focuses on identifying what’s “wrong” with us, in this conversation, Dr. Alexandra and Thais explore how understanding and investigating our attachment style can create fertile ground for us to change the way we show up in relationships and break frustrating patterns. Our attachment style is not our destiny, and when we begin to understand the roots of this subconscious programming, we have the opportunity to reprogram ourselves for better and more fulfilling relationships. This episode will give you the tools and insights to start down that path and think more expansively about attachment.
Thais’s Instagram, The Personal Development School
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Your Best Relationship Begins with You: Nine Truths About Love & Self-Acceptance with Jillian Turecki
Today’s guest is Jillian Turecki, a certified relationship coach, teacher, author of the new book It Begins With You: The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life, and host of the podcast, Jillian On Love. You’ve likely seen her wise and straightforward videos that get right to the heart of our most pressing dating and relationship questions. She’s helped thousands through her teachings, courses, writing, and her popular social media accounts to revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they can transform their romantic relationships.
One of the central tenets of Jillian’s work is the idea that the common denominator in all your relationships is you. A lot of us know in our bones that creating safety inside ourselves is the key to healthy relationships with others—but we don’t always know how to do this or where to start. Jillian and Dr. Alexandra also discuss estrangement and navigating complex relationships with family members. Tune in to today’s episode to hear all of Jillian’s wisdom!
Relevant links:
It Begins with You: The 9 Hard Truths about Love That Will Change Your Life by Jillian Turecki
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
From Burnout to Balanced: Bringing Self-Compassion to Our Careers with Esther Boykin
Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.
Relevant links:
Connect with Esther online and on Instagram
Learn more about Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word and the Compassion Collective
Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamworkby Dan Sullivan
Reimagining Love episode: "Talking about the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy"
Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter