Your Mindset Changes Everything: The Power of Practical Optimism with Dr. Sue Varma
Today’s guest, psychiatrist and author Dr. Sue Varma, says that optimists may be born, but “practical optimists” are made. Not all optimism is good, and not all pessimism is bad. BUT when we become mired in negativity, Dr. Sue says, we become paralyzed and passive. So what’s the fix? In her book, Practical Optimism, and in this episode, she makes a compelling case for why we all need more optimism in our lives and tells us how we can cultivate it right now. Dr. Alexandra chats with Dr. Sue about the role self-compassion plays in this journey, and how finding your soul’s purpose can help you remain in an optimistic zone for decades to come. They also discuss how partners can explore their unique strengths in this area as a team.
Relevant links:
"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit
Practical Optimism The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being by Dr. Sue Varma
Dr. Sue’s website
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Finding Abundance: The Expansion That Lives Within with Cathy Heller
“So often we look outside ourselves for the expansion that lives within,” says today’s guest Cathy Heller, a coach, spiritual guide, meditation teacher, and inspirational speaker. Many of us hang our worth and happiness on things we don’t have yet: the dream job, the perfect relationship, the fancy clothes. But in Cathy’s book Abundant Ever After, as well as in this episode, she tells us that we can have the ease, connection, and joy we so desperately crave, just as we are now. And when we can learn to do that, we become ready to receive abundance. Cathy and Dr. Alexandra discuss the Law of Reception and our capacity for welcoming goodness in, in the same way a radio dial tunes into different channels. Cathy also kicks off the episode by leading listeners through a nourishing mediation, which you can return to at any tim
Relevant links:
"Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkit
Abundant Ever After: Tools for Creating a Life of Prosperity and Ease by Cathy Heller
Cathy’s Instagram @cathy.heller
Cathy’s website
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Can You Have an Amazing Career AND an Amazing Relationship?
Few topics are more relevant to our day-to-day lives than work. For many of us, our jobs are more than just occupations—they’re where we achieve goals, make meaning, experience successes and failures, and cultivate our self-esteem. So, when work and love collide, we find ourselves at a rich intersection of emotions, expectations, and needs. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra uncovers why fighting with your partner about work is never just that, and shares tools you can use to cultivate intimacy and ambition simultaneously. You’ll learn about what Dr. Alexandra calls “the Work-Love Matrix,” understand the connections between your experience in the workplace and your experience growing up in your Family-of-Origin, and hear a five-step practice you can use today to have more supportive conversations about work with your partner.
Relevant links:
Further Listening: Is Work Stress Taking a Toll on Your Relationship? (Reimagining Love)
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Is There an “Effort Mismatch” in Your Relationship?
When two partners have a major difference between them, it can kick up a lot of dust in a relationship. One of the most common is what Dr. Alexandra calls “The Effort Mismatch”: while one partner tends to scan the relationship for problems and is always on the lookout for growth opportunities (The Change Partner), the other partner holds steady, generally accepting the relationship for what it is today (The Acceptance Partner). The good news is, when both partners understand and value their differences, this contrast between them can be a huge asset to their relationship. However, most couples with an Effort Mismatch struggle to reckon with this discrepancy, digging their heels into their side of the dynamic or wishing their partner would magically change. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra explores the internal and relational experience of each of these two types of partners, shares tailored reminders and guidance for each of them, and explains how this difference can actually be extremely complementary, even as it poses challenges for a couple.
Relevant links:
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
How to Love Better: Cultivating Growth, Kindness, and Compassion with Yung Pueblo
You likely know today’s guest, Diego Perez, by his pen name: Yung Pueblo. He has an online audience of over 4 million people and is a New York Times bestselling author, whose books have been translated into over 25 languages. Diego’s work focuses on the power of self-healing, creating healthy relationships, and cultivating self-awareness, and his meditation practice is central to all that he shares with the world. He and Dr. Alexandra discuss all of that in this conversation, as they dig into the lessons and reflections he’s woven together in his new book, How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. They dive into what it means to argue and disagree peacefully with a partner, the power of meditation, and why it’s important to work with the universe, not against it. Diego also opens up about his own love story with his wife, Sarah. They wrap things up by exploring a question together from a listener in Chicago who is feeling doubts in her relationship and isn’t sure about the way forward.
Relevant links:
How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion by Yung Pueblo
Diego’s Instagram @yung_pueblo
Diego’s website
Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter