LISTEN TO THE REIMAGINING LOVE PODCAST WITH DR. ALEXANDRA SOLOMONA conversation about the relationships that matter most
Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon is your destination for profound, enlightening discussions about love, family, intimacy, and everything in between. A podcast that gives us the opportunity to reimagine ourselves, our relationships, and our world. Hosted by renowned clinical psychologist, professor, and author Dr. Alexandra Solomon featuring conversations with listeners as well as notable guests.
Listen to Reimagining Love
Getting to Zero: Conflict & Repair with Jayson Gaddis
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School and the book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships." They discuss Jayson's approach to conflict-repair, which focuses on calming the nervous system and bringing both partners to their baseline, where the potential for positive change is highest. Jayson and Dr. Alexandra answer a great listener question as well about broaching difficult topics in the context of an intimate partnership.
The Art of Living Retreat with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/event/faculty/alexandra-solomon/loving-bravely/
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships by Jayson Gaddis:
The Relationship School:
https://relationshipschool.com/
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Learning to Cherish: From "You & Me" to Us with Terry Real
World-renowned author and therapist Terry Real joins Dr. Alexandra for a discussion about his career, his new book (Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship), men in relationships, conflict resolution, and more.
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terry Real:
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Disrupting the Underfunctioning/ Overfunctioning Dynamic
Dr. Alexandra explores the common underfunctioning/overfunctioning dynamic in long-term partnerships. She talks about why many couples fall prey to these roles, whether as a result of cultural messaging or family-of-origin scripts, and she shares strategies for breaking free from this dance so that the relationship can feel more balanced.
Get the companion worksheet for this episode:
www.dralexandrasolomon.com/dynamic
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
“Overfunctioning and Underfunctioning” by Dr. Will Meek:
https://willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/
“Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed” Up by Gemma Hartley (Harper’s Bazaar, September 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
“I Live With a Woman—We're Not Immune to Emotional Labor:
How LGBTQ couples navigate gender roles at home” by Trish Bendix (Harper’s Bazaar, October 2017):
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12779502/emotional-labor-lgbtq-relationships/
Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky:
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Love Stories: Permission for Pleasure with Al Fine, Co-Founder & CEO of Dame Products
On this Love Stories episode, Dr. Alexandra is joined Alexandra Fine, the co-founder and CEO of Dame Products, an innovative company that designs pleasure-enhancing products for people with vulvas. This episode is all about Dame the brand, but more importantly, it’s about Al, the very special person behind Dame's groundbreaking products, who had a radical vision she followed to fruition.
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Shop Dame Products (use code LOVEPOD for a discount at checkout):
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Understanding Ourselves: The Challenge & Gift of Therapy with Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb, Atlantic columnist and bestselling author of “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone,” joins Dr. Alexandra for a conversation about her book and the role of therapy in modern life. They also answer two listener questions together.
Take Dr. Alexandra's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb:
"Dear Therapist" Column in The Atlantic:
https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/dear-therapist/
Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb & Guy Winch (podcast):
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Self-Advocacy in Action: Finding Your Voice in Relationships with Nedra Tawwab
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Nedra Tawwab to talk about relational boundaries, self-advocacy, and communication. Nedra offers a whole host of wonderful questions we can ask ourselves when we are feeling drained or annoyed by our partner, as well as suggestions for a listener with a depressed partner who is struggling to establish caretaking boundaries in her relationship.
Shop Dame Products (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout):
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab:
https://bookshop.org/books/set-boundaries-find-peace-a-guide-to-reclaiming-yourself/9780593192092
Nedra's Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/nedratawwab/
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Reaching the Summit: The Challenges & Possibilities of Modern Love with Dr. Eli Finkel
Dr. Eli Finkel, a social psychology professor at Northwestern University, joins Dr. Alexandra for an in-depth discussion about the state of marriage and long-term partnership today, in an ever-changing and ever-complicated world. They also discuss Eli's book, The All-Or-Nothing Marriage, and answer a listener question together about a new relationship.
The Family Institute at Northwestern University:
https://www.family-institute.org/
The All-Or-Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel:
https://bookshop.org/books/the-all-or-nothing-marriage-how-the-best-marriages-work/9781101984345
Dr. Eli Finkel's Website:
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
We Need to Talk About Ghosting
Have you ever been ghosted? Dr. Alexandra dives into the cultural weight of this term, and why the experience of being left in the lurch can feel so incredibly painful. Rather than fixating on the unanswerable question of why someone ghosted us, wondering if we did something wrong, or minimizing the pain, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to sit in the grief of a confusing ending and find strength amid the disappointment.
Shop Dame Products (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout):
Dr. Alexandra's E-Course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit:
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit
We Need to Talk About Ghosting - Worksheet:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AdPotRUt94nPJ5i8-mDavCuzsmwecgRPrg4rqnjWmFg/edit?pli=1
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
Love Stories: Writing Relationships with Novelist Monica Ali
In celebration of her new novel, Love Marriage, acclaimed writer Monica Ali joins Dr. Alexandra for a vibrant discussion about writing love stories, exploring themes of sexuality and culture in fiction, and the things that creative writing and therapy may have in common. Love Marriage is a beautiful book that follows two cultures, two families and the secrets they keep, and is available for pre-order now (see below).
Pre-order Love Marriage by Monica Ali:
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Love-Marriage/Monica-Ali/9781982181475
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/21229599593927
Monica Ali's website:
Somatic Abolitionism: Understanding Racialized Trauma Through the Body with Resmaa Menakem
Dr. Alexandra is joined by Resmaa Menakem, a therapist and licensed clinical social worker who specializes in the healing of racialized trauma, for a truly transformative conversation about the somatic impacts of racism and how we can move towards reckoning and healing.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Resmaa's website:
The Quaking of America: An Embodied Guide to Navigating Our Nation's Upheaval and Racial Reckoning by Resmaa Menakem
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
Relational Authenticity: How Boundaries Protect Us, and Connect Us with Terri Cole
Boundaries are front and center in this episode with guest expert Terri Cole, author of the book “Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free.” Dr. Alexandra and Terri talk about how the skill of setting boundaries is essential in relationships, and they answer two listener questions together that relate to this issue.
Shop Dame Products (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout)
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra:
https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free by Terri Cole:
Terri’s Boundary Quiz:
Terri’s website:
Ten Essential Skills for Navigating Conflict: Part Two
In this two part series, Dr. Alexandra shares ten essential skills for couples struggling with routine conflict in their relationship. Offering strategies from her couples therapy practice, Dr. Alexandra provides new language and ways of thinking about arguments that promote empathy and care, shifting couples into a "we" perspective so that they can move through hard times as a team.
Listen to Part I of the Conflict series:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reimagining-love/id1588419386?i=1000555568444
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter
Submit your question to Dr. Solomon
Couples therapy directories:
https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Domestic violence resources:
Ten Essential Skills for Navigating Conflict: Part One
In this two part series, Dr. Alexandra shares ten essential skills for couples struggling with routine conflict in their relationship. Offering strategies from her couples therapy practice, Dr. Alexandra provides new language and ways of thinking about arguments that promote empathy and care, shifting couples into a "we" perspective so that they can move through hard times as a team.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra
Couples therapy directories:
https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
Domestic violence resources:
Relational Health: Loving with the Brain in Mind with Dr. Mona Fishbane
Dr. Alexandra is joined by renowned guest Dr. Mona Fishbane for a deep-dive into healthy relational habits, conflict resolution, and aging alongside one's partner.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra
Loving with the Brain in Mind: Neurobiology and Couple Therapy by Mona Fishbane, Ph.D.:
Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain At Any Age by Sanjay Gupta, MD:
https://bookshop.org/books/keep-sharp-build-a-better-brain-at-any-age/9781501166730
The Vulnerability Cycle (Dr. Mona Fishbane's article with Michele Scheinkman, CSW):
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2004.00023.x
Dr. Fishbane's website:
Tending to Loss: What We Get Wrong About Grief with Megan Devine
Today's episode is all about grief, featuring guest expert Megan Devine. Megan is a grief advocate, dedicated to helping us live through the things we never thought we’d face. Dr. Alexandra and Megan discuss what we all get wrong about grief, and they address a question from a well-meaning listener who wants to learn how to better support a friend who has suffered a painful loss.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra
It's Ok That You're Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine:
How to Carry What Can't Be Fixed: A Journal For Grief by Megan Devine:
https://bookshop.org/books/how-to-carry-what-can-t-be-fixed-a-journal-for-grief/9781683643708
Here After, Megan's Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/here-after-with-megan-devine/id1595914505
What Women Lose in Marriage: The Case for a Radical Awakening with Dr Shefali Tsabary
Dr. Shefali Tsabary, New York Times bestselling author and parenting expert, joins Dr. Alexandra for a rich discussion about her new book, A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free, which explores the ways in which our patriarchal culture traps women into cycles and arrangements that keep them from living their fullest lives.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra
A Radical Awakening: Turn Pain into Power, Embrace Your Truth, Live Free by Dr. Shefali Tsabary:
"I Love Them, But I'm Not in Love With Them"
This solo episode focuses on the phrase “I love them, but I’m not in love with them.” Have you heard it in your own life? Dr. Alexandra unpacks what can lie beneath the surface of this phrase and explores the feelings, ideas, and commitments that the world “love” captures for different people.
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up
Submit your question to Dr. Alexandra
From Performance to Pleasure: A New Vision for Sexuality with Dr. Emily Nagoski
Dr. Emily Nagoski joins Dr. Solomon to talk all things sexuality and pleasure. They answer two listener questions together and discuss Dr. Emily's work and research around female pleasure as well as burnout and the stress cycle.
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter:
https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up
Come as You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. & Amelia Nagoski, DMA
https://bookshop.org/books/burnout-the-secret-to-unlocking-the-stress-cycle/9781984818324
Dr. Emily Nagoski's Worksheets:
Sexual Temperament Questionnaire
Sexual Cues Assessment Worksheet
Turning Off the Offs Worksheet
The Nap Ministry @thenapministry
From the Inside Out: Attachment Theory & Mindful Parenting with Dr. Dan Siegel
Dr. Dan Siegel joins Dr. Alexandra to talk about attachment theory, parenting, and healing intergenerational trauma. Dr. Siegel's work looms large in the worlds of psychology, psychotherapy, and interpersonal neurobiology, and he has published many bestselling books, linked below.
Subscribe to Dr. Solomon’s Newsletter
Links to a selection of Dr. Dan Siegel's books:
Mentioned in this episode:
Values & Communication: The Next Sexual Revolution with Cindy Gallop
Dr. Alexandra is joined by tech entrepreneur Cindy Gallop, who has made waves in the business world. She's the founder of Make Love Not Porn, the world’s first user-generated, human-curated social sex video-sharing platform, socializing and normalizing sex in order to make it easier to talk about sex, and to promote consent, communication, good sexual values and good sexual behavior. Cindy tells the story of MLNP and discusses a listener question with Dr. Alexandra.
Dr. Alexandra's E-Course: "Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding After Betrayal or Deceit"
https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/can-i-trust-you-again-rebuilding-after-betrayal-or-deceit
Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra's Newsletter:
https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up
MakeLoveNotPorn: