You're the one doing the work. Here's how to stop carrying it alone.
A live 90-minute workshop for the partner who notices everything. You'll learn how to stop keeping score and bracing for the next disappointment, and you'll leave with the actual words to invite your partner in this week.
With Dr. Alexandra Solomon. Northwestern professor, couples therapist of 30 years, author of Loving Bravely, as heard on We Can Do Hard Things.
Saturday, June 27 at 3pm ET | 90 minutes
Can't make Saturday? Register anyway - every seat includes the full recording.
What it feels like to be the one who notices…
There's a gap between where your relationship is and where you'd like it to go. You're not in crisis mode but some changes could do you both good. You dive in and read all the books (or listen to the podcasts) and slip some of those insights to your partner, hoping something will resonate with them. Meanwhile, your partner thinks everything is just fine.
That's a lonely place to stand, and almost no one talks about it.
You don't need to be talked out of noticing. You're not wrong about what you see. What you're tired of is the noticing never turning into anything, and the low hum of watching for what's missing. This workshop is about putting that hum down.
What Will Change by the End of Our 90 Minutes Together:
You'll stop carrying the relationship like a project you're managing alone.
You'll see your partner differently. Not as the problem, but as one half of a pattern you're both caught in, which is a much easier thing to stand next to.
You'll have a way to bring them in that doesn't sound like a complaint or a lecture. Real words you can say this week.
You'll feel the difference in your own body first. Less keeping score, less bracing, more room to actually be in the relationship instead of monitoring it.
About Dr. Alexandra
Dr. Alexandra Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist, a professor at Northwestern, and the author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. You may know her from We Can Do Hard Things, from Esther Perel's stage, or from her own podcast.
She's spent nearly 30 years doing couples therapy and teaching people how relationships actually work. She built this workshop around the question she gets asked more than any other. How do I create more connection when I feel like the only one trying? This is her answer.
What We'll Do Together
We'll spend 90 minutes live, on camera, working through this together. Here's what that looks like:
You'll stop seeing your partner as the obstacle.
We'll look honestly at the dynamic you're in, including why you keep noticing what your partner isn't doing and why they keep missing what you need. Once you can see the cycle and are no longer stuck inside it, that alone takes some of the weight off.
You'll trade frustration for compassion.
Through guided journaling and real-time reflection, you'll start to see your partner and your own role in the pattern differently. You’ll open room to soften the frustration you’ve been carrying as you learn to see the whole system instead of just the part that is making you tired.
You'll leave with the conversation you've been avoiding, ready to have.
You'll rewrite a question you've been holding onto, and you'll design a small experiment to try in the days that follow. Most importantly, you'll leave with the words for the conversation that has felt impossible to start.
This workshop is designed for individuals, but if your partner wants to join you, they are absolutely welcome.
The Details
Date: Saturday, June 27 at 3pm ET
Time: 90 minutes, live and virtual
Cost: $79 - Less than a single therapy session, and you keep the recording and the practice for good.
Can't make Saturday? Register anyway. Every seat includes the full recording.
Shift Something in You, Change Everything Around You
You already know the theory and you've done the reading. The thing that's been missing isn't more insight. It's what happens on a Tuesday night at the kitchen table, when you're tired and they're distracted and the gap between what you know and what you do feels a mile wide.
That gap is the whole point of this workshop.
When you stop bracing long enough to take something in, the dynamic changes. The coffee they made without being asked. The fact that they stayed in the room. The small, clumsy reach toward you that looks nothing like what you've been waiting for but is still a reach. You start there, with yourself, and the rest of the system follows. Even when the only person in the room who shifts first is you.
A Note From Ali
I want to be straight with you about what this is and isn't.
When you're the one doing all the work, it's tempting to walk into a room like this hoping someone will finally say, "You're right, they should be doing more." I get it and I've wanted that too.
But that's not what helps. What helps is understanding the cycle well enough to step out of your part of it. That step, even a small one, is what opens room for something to actually change. I've watched it happen more times than I can count. I'd love to watch it happen for you.
Xo,
Dr. Alexandra
Frequently Asked Questions
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Not at all. This workshop is designed to meet you where you are. If you're familiar with my work, you'll find this goes deeper into some of the concepts I teach. If you're coming in fresh, everything you need will be in the room.
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Yes, and they are welcome. This workshop is designed for the person who is already doing the relational work, so it will be most resonant for you. But if your partner wants to show up alongside you, there is absolutely a seat for them.
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Yes. Everyone who registers will receive access to the recording after the event, so you don't need to worry if something comes up on June 27th.
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It's not. This is a workshop, which means it's educational and experiential rather than clinical. That said, many of the tools and frameworks come directly from my work as a couples therapist, so the grounding is real even if the format is different.
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You're still welcome here. This workshop isn't only for people whose relationships are basically fine. It's for anyone who wants to understand the dynamic they're in and try something different. If you're in a genuinely difficult moment, this can be a good complement to individual or couples therapy, not a replacement for it.
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The workshop is $79. If it's not useful, email us within 7 days for a full refund.