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I Went to See About a Girl: Career Detours in the Name of Love

In the movie Good Will Hunting, Will Hunting, played by Matt Damon, is in therapy with Sean Maguire, played by Robin Williams. Will is a young man at a crossroads. The woman he loves is off to California for graduate school, and he has to decide whether or not he should go with her. He has to decide whether […]
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Illinois Association of Marriage and Family Therapy Conference

Loving Bravely: Supporting Relational Self-Awareness as the Foundation for Love  
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What makes someone vulnerable to cheating? Here is one major reason

A common belief and fear in our society is that people cheat because they are looking for someone better. This is true, however that “someone” is probably not who you think it is. The major attraction in an affair is often not the affair partner themselves, but the version of the self that this person […]
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Thriving in Marriage Rather than Just Surviving: Beyond Fight or Flight

We’re all familiar with the idea of fight or flight. It’s the instinctual reaction humans have to any form of threat or distress. But how has fight or flight become part of our relationships? In my work as a couples therapist, I have seen many couples for whom fight or flight has become their default […]
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Love is NOT a Battlefield: How to End Polarization for Good

We use the term “couple” to mean a pair of people who are joined together in a relationship, but the truth is many couples exist almost entirely in a polarized state. It’s as if they are on either side of a tug-of-war rope and both are pulling as hard as they can but neither is moving. All this effort […]