Press Archive | Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Daily Mail – March 25, 2019

Relationship experts reveal the best ways to get over a brutal breakup, explaining why time really is the best healer - but 'getting under' someone else actually CAN work wonders …

Cosmopolitan – March 21, 2019

Here's How Long It Actually Takes to Get Over a Breakup …

“Let’s Talk” Livestream – March 12, 2019

How Can a Relationship Survive Infidelity …

1 week ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Happy Mother’s Day. Today, I’m reflecting on the quiet act of nurturing... meeting the moments however they present themselves. How hard and brave and awesome that work is! Please soak in these words from my brilliant colleagues and director at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, Dr. Nancy Burgoyne: "I recall being surprised overhearing my mother, well into her 70s, on the phone discussing a movie. She was relating to one of the characters in a way that was quite disconnected from the mother I knew. She was talking as a woman, not a mother. A woman with experiences that long preceded me. Strange as it
2 days ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Fitting to share Vienna’s words as she and I will take the stage today for a workshop all about rewriting our love stories. *** Self-work is not one and done. Read a few books. Listen to some podcasts. Do 6 months or 2 years of therapy. Self-work is the forever practice of striving to meet life on life’s terms— imperfect, ugly, beautiful, holy, raw. Knowing that life continues to poke us in our tender places. Even the people we love and the people we trust.... Our relationships with those people will continue to poke us in our tender places. But
2 weeks ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Research shows that by the time they are 3 years old we touch our boys less than we touch our girls. We tell them— man up, don’t cry, win at all costs. We cut the off from their own internal worlds. We teach them to dismiss their lived experiences in order to belong/succeed/survive. And worse, we tell them not to be “like a girl.” We train them to hold in contempt one half of the world. And then we expect them to function as wholehearted intimate partners. For men who are straight, they must somehow be empathic with those whose
4 weeks ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Breakups are hard— for both people. Here are a few thoughts for those whose partner has ended the relationship and a few thoughts for those who are the one to end the relationship. —- If you’ve been broken up with, please remember: * Our brains code emotional pain in the same centers as physical pain, so breakups hurt because they hurt. You must be gentle with yourself. * Feel what you feel. Resist the urge to minimize your emotions with a story like “but it was only a 2 month relationship” or “my friends didn’t like them anyways.” You cannot
3 weeks ago by dr.alexandra.solomon A healing journey is a journey of awakening. Our perspective moves from narrow to expansive. We hold tolerance for ever more shades of gray, knowing that relationships are complicated and people imperfect. But even as we hold more nuance, we simultaneously discern our truth more clearly. We recognize how a heartfelt yes feels inside the belly and we speak it without fear. We reclaim healthy boundaries, and “no” becomes a complete sentence. —— Healing our pain changes how we show up in the world, so we become teachers organically. Just by practicing alignment and integrity. And we share our stories,

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