The Book
Available Now from New Harbinger
Real love starts with you. In order to attract a life partner and build a healthy intimate relationship, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you can be ready, resilient, and confident in love.
Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that?
In Loving Bravely, psychologist, professor and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection.
By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.
“As modern dating increasingly gets reduced to a narrow set of online search algorithms, Alexandra Solomon wisely implores readers to turn off the noise, tune into our authentic selves and cultivate a deeper sense of relational self-awareness. Loving Bravely will show how you how to go beyond merely swiping left or right, scrolling up and down, and instead live and love in way that’s true to your unique multi-dimensional self.”
—Ian Kerner, PhD LMFT, New York Times best-selling author
“Psychologist Solomon, a clinical professor in the department of psychology at Northwestern University, directs readers down the road of self-discovery, positing that relational self-awareness is the key to intimate relationships. Divided into four parts—self-reflection, self-awareness, self-expression, and self-expansion—the book is modeled after an undergraduate course Solomon teaches called “Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.” She doesn’t preach that love is perfect—”core issues will get stirred up again and again in intimate relationships”—but guides readers with 20 lessons accompanied by sets of exercises through which they learn to explore and create healthy boundaries, listen to their gut instincts, and forgive themselves and others. The tone of the book is empowering and compassionate, and its lessons are universal.”
—Publishers Weekly
“What a wonderful exploration into the language of intimacy, relationships, and love! In this deeply insightful book, you will be exposed to the key ingredients of an intimate relationship: self-love, self-worth, and self-awareness. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in engaging in life and love in an empowered way!”
—Shefali Tsabary, PhD, New York Times bestselling author and psychologist