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Are Your Matching Holiday Jammies a Libido Killer or Festive Foreplay? Sex and the Holiday Season

Sexual desire is about motivation to enter a sexual space with your intimate partner. Contrary to what we see in the movies and in romance novels, problems with sexual desire are normal and common. Research conducted by Dr. David Schnarch with almost 20,000 people indicates that virtually everyone …

The 7 C’s of Thanksgiving: Approaching Family Togetherness with Grace

“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” Ram Dass These wise words from a spiritual guru encourage us to approach the holiday season with a serving of humility that is greater than or equal to our serving of pumpkin pie. Family will always have the power to stir us up …

15 of My Favorite Books about Love and Marriage

Here we are! Week #4 of your Month of Reading Bravely. Ahh! Books about love and marriage. These are my jam! It was no easy feat to limit myself to just 15. In these books you will find research, paradigms, perspectives, stories, and ideas about what it takes to create and sustain love across time. …

3 days ago by dr.alexandra.solomon How you feel in your own skin powerfully impacts the space between you and your intimate partner. When you feel confident, upbeat, and energized, it’s easy to feel open to connection. You can tap into playful, curious, and optimistic energy and the relationship gets infused with all kinds of good stuff. —- But what about when you’re in the throes of some sort of deeply personal challenge: * I feel insecure about my career * I feel critical of my body * I feel guilty about my parenting * I feel scared about my health How beautiful that an intimate
2 days ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Psychologists are a bit split over whether jealousy is an EMOTION or a COGNITION. Here’s what I know for sure: it’s sure as shit human to battle with jealousy. —— Jealousy in an intimate relationship arises in response to a real or perceived threat of losing someone who matters tremendously to us. Jealousy is a flashing warning light. The feeling might tell you to leap into action, but when you feel jealousy arise in you, I invite you to pause. * Don’t push jealousy away because you equate it with weakness. If you do this, you lose out on the
1 week ago by dr.alexandra.solomon This is a challenging take on heartbreak, isn’t it? The pain of heartbreak is so very real. The loss of love is a loss like any other. Pain in every sense of the word. —- But as you reckon with your broken heart, hold at least a sliver of awareness of this aspect: the pain of your broken heart is evidence of your limitless capacity to love, to attach, to connect. That capacity belongs to you and is not diminished by your loss of your partner. —- It’s an awful lot to ask you to hold onto a truth this
6 hours ago by dr.alexandra.solomon Romance Myth #3 ,127: “and they lived happily ever after.” Falling in love is wildly exhilarating. Falling in love is deeply disruptive. Both of those things are true at the very same time. Our culture is obsessed with romance, but silent about the deep truth that vibrant intimate connection requires a lifelong commitment to self-work. Even if he’s the man of your dreams. Even if she’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever laid eyes on. Strong chemistry, great sex, inside jokes, adventurous dates are not enough. There’s no bypassing the work of loving and being loved. The more you let this
6 days ago by dr.alexandra.solomon A first date is a goldmine of data: * Your thoughts * Your feelings * Your physical sensations * Your hypotheses about their impressions of you All of these data points matter. But remember that this data is imperfect and incomplete. Your experience of this person is being filtered through the lens of your beliefs, wounds, hopes, and anxieties. And the same is true of how you’re being experienced by them. Sigh. Dating is difficult, and you must be gentle with you. ***** But I invite you to bring your awareness to how your date interfaces with the people you